Nine Feet Underground

Sometimes it's hard to know what is good and what is not.  Last night (technically very early this morning) we called out the out-of-hours nursing service to attend to E.  We've had to do this several times consecutively over the past week.   With any luck, this is a sign that things are changing, which would be in everyone's best interest, not least E's.  Either way, the positive thing is that we should be moving to a situation where E gets pain relief and calming medication via a continuous feed syringe driver.  There is no telling how long this could last, so we have to develop a plan B, for the sake of E, who would ideally have access to 24-hour nursing care and for the rest of us who find witnessing E in pain to be upsetting. (Stronger words are more appropriate, but those will do) The reality of the situation is unimaginable unless you are the one or ones experiencing it.  Things must change. On other occasions, it is easy to distinguish good and...

The old year stretches out behind me and the new one beckons me. I haven't made any resolutions as I believe that you should try to improve every day and learn from things you got wrong.  Doesn't always work that way, but trying is half the battle. What I want most this year is for E's suffering to end as soon as possible. We don't even know the full extent of it, only the part of the iceberg that's out of the water. Over the past few weeks, her decline has continued apace, such that we are now keeping one eye open for signs of sepsis.  Fingers crossed it happens sooner than later. This weekend I should be off to Amsterdam with Q and her daughter (who is returning to her home there) to celebrate Q's birthday, hot on the heels of Christmas. I had a neck, head and shoulder massage at the Sue Ryder hospice yesterday which set me up nicely for New Year's Eve.  I have three more sessions to go and I can try reflexology (which I might try) and reiki which sounds l...