Nine Feet Underground

For the first time in ages, an almost normal Monday. I will be going to yoga for 10:00, but sadly E is still in hospital. Guess I'll find out more later. My day started with a chat with a friend before getting ready to go to yoga, after confirming it was on and there were no new restrictions.  It was good to go to yoga for the first time in quite a few weeks: hopefully I will be able to attend for the final Mondays leading up to Christmas. I was welcomed back and everyone was pleased to see me, which was nice. Drove home via the filling station and pharmacy (to collect some meds for E) and called the hospital for an update. It's now looking like E won't be home before Wednesday and they need me to bring more bottles of feed, so I've decided I'll take in enough until Friday when I go to the hospital for an outpatient's appointment tomorrow. The afternoon somehow disappeared, despite me not achieving very much at all, but I guess it was moderately relaxing. In the...

More or less usual start to my Saturday, give or take some extra long chats with the woman who runs the bread stall and the almost catastrophic closure of the coffee shop due to a water leak. Back home to carers, washing, and some wonderfully enjoyable chats with a friend while awaiting news of the plans of sons #1 and 3 to return home for a meal this evening ahead of the twins birthday celebrations tomorrow. Yet again Sertraline side-effects impose themselves on my day, with a mix of headache, feeling sick and occasional dizziness, however I am fighting my way through it by drinking loads of water and occupying my brain cell. Finally the clans have gathered together and five of us (the four of us plus son #1's gf) are ready(-ish) to head for the Turkish restaurant. Back after a good meal (dessert and 'Britain's Got Talent' interlude aside) and about to head off to our eyries for those different parts of our lives.  We need to be fresh and rested for tomorrow's cele...

Still struggled to get to sleep last night then woke at about 5 a.m. and couldn't get back to sleep, resulting in me feeling very tired today. Work dominates the day, which is mainly notable for my senior architect certification is now live on the internal website and my certificate is available for download.  Not that it's a big deal for me, or anything. A few other things happened during the day, but little justifying elaboration here. A friend did suggest some Alexa-based routines to help with the process of getting off to sleep, and so, in the spirit of 'I'll try anything once' (exclusions apply), I shall give one a go tonight and try all of them until I've found one that works. Or not. Watched TV and ate dinner alone, for the usual reason, almost finishing the 'Rolling Stone' documentary series before an overdose of Bill Clinton made me give up. To bed to read 'Julius' and then try out a sleep routine. Progress on this month's book club ...

The first few hours of today were exactly as almost every other Saturday for the past 18 months, so I really can't bring myself to detail it here. Some of the usual mundane household crap behind me, I can try and reach out from the fog of my mind to summon up the energy/interest/enthusiasm to work out what I'm going to do with my week of leave.  I had good intentions about getting away somewhere to find some head space, peace or relief from all that besets me day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second, but in fact I just thrashed about in the sea of challenges, conflicts of emotion, banal dating conversations and did fuck-all about it. The soul-sucking tiredness hasn't helped. Not waving... Now the break is upon me and I have to find something I can enjoy even if it only serves as a distraction, when what I need is to get away from it all and more besides... I am going to a Thai house-blessing (Tambun Baan) and housewarming (two separate events at the same...