Nine Feet Underground

I had planned to write this post yesterday, but it was a bit of a day for E and thus for me. It started first thing after E had suffered a bad night which resulted in her struggling to breathe easily.  This caused her to panic and it took an extra dose of sedative to gradually bring things under control.  First thing this morning her breathing was normal again and she was calmer. Today we have taken the first steps to reduce her daily intake of sedative but not the pain relief.  If she continues to be asleep all or the majority of the time, even with the reduction of the sedative, then this will suggest that her sleepiness is part of a process of decline. I had a lot of time to think yesterday, either whilst nurses were here (two separate visits) or whilst waiting for medication, during which time I found myself considering the nature of hell.  I came to the realisation that if it existed (which I don't think it does) it would be very different to the eternal fire th...