Nine Feet Underground

Next week would have been E's birthday. Her first birthday since she died. Every day is the birthday of millions of people, living and dead. I'm wrestling with how to commemorate this day.  The date is still the day of her birth; however, she is not physically here to have her birthday celebrated. If someone is no longer here, should you celebrate their birthday? In remembering, we are commemorating.  It's not something that can be forgotten (not that I want to), not this close to her death, but perhaps it's about how I and our sons and her brother feel inside. For me, it feels wrong to celebrate the day, especially now. As her illness progressed, each birthday had less and less to celebrate. We always marked the day. More or less, even though it became impossible to do the things we would have done, since E couldn't leave the house. I have spoken to my sons about this upcoming date to see if they would like to do something special to mark the occasion.  So far, th...