Love, Poetry and Revolution - Thursday 6th November 2025

Next week would have been E's birthday. Her first birthday since she died. Every day is the birthday of millions of people, living and dead. I'm wrestling with how to commemorate this day.  The date is still the day of her birth; however, she is not physically here to have her birthday celebrated. If someone is no longer here, should you celebrate their birthday?

In remembering, we are commemorating.  It's not something that can be forgotten (not that I want to), not this close to her death, but perhaps it's about how I and our sons and her brother feel inside. For me, it feels wrong to celebrate the day, especially now. As her illness progressed, each birthday had less and less to celebrate. We always marked the day. More or less, even though it became impossible to do the things we would have done, since E couldn't leave the house.

I have spoken to my sons about this upcoming date to see if they would like to do something special to mark the occasion.  So far, they are leaving it to me, but as the date approaches, this may change.

Given my beliefs, it doesn't feel right to make some grand gesture, not that I have any idea what that would be.  Life is for living, and we honour those who have gone before by getting on with living our lives and not forgetting them.  Our experiences change us, ideally for the better. I am a better person for the life I had with E, and the positive outcome from her illness is that I have changed for the better.  That doesn't resolve the opening question about how to commemorate her birthday. When I think about that, I'm also reminded that next year will be the first anniversary of her death.  More tough questions to come.

The seed for these thoughts was germinated whilst I was out walking, and on my return, I had to explore further. I do have other things to write about in a post, but I can't think further without getting this out there.

Todd Rundgren /  'Wailing Wall'  / Runt. The Ballad of Todd Rundgren