Love, Poetry and Revolution - Tuesday 3rd June 2025

June is underway and my bonce is still not back to normal.  I'm getting there, but one of the current drawbacks is that I need a lot of sleep. Don't get me wrong, it's feeling way better, I'd just hoped it would be as before by now. 

Apart from pain, which I'm ignoring from now on, my emotions are out of control.  Probably a combination of lack of suppression now I'm drug-free and the aftershocks of February's event. Naively, I had assumed that the years of loss and grieving for that loss, alongside the therapy and counselling, would have made the final process easier.  I now feel that that was unrealistic.  Grief is a powerful emotion, and there are no straightforward laws or rules that govern how an individual might experience it.  That'll learn ya.

Never content to deal with one major problem at a time, I've also been experiencing worse back pain (with consequences for my stability/balance).  I have seen a physio about it.   On the one hand, they suggest it's no big deal and relatively easy to fix, but also observe that I am very stiff. The first steps to improving things are to walk 30 minutes plus (briskly) per day and start doing three exercises: namely suitcase carrys, ATG Lunges and downward dog twists. The latter two exercises are not easy - in fact the downward dog twists are dangerous.  I can get into downward dog easily enough, but getting out of it is tricky.  On the second day I attempted it I fell forward and bruised both my knees. In order to avoid the downward dog becoming the dead dog, I've put it on hold until the other exercises start to have a positive impact.

I used to walk for at least 30 minutes daily until the last year or so when I lost the habit. Not sure why this happened. It just did. Now I'm fixing it with regular forays into Calderstones Park when I'm in Liverpool. I just need to not let the weather put me off.

There are lots of positive things on the horizon.  I must ensure that thought pervades all.

Music.  Given the state I seem to be in, I thought an appropriate song might be 'Girl Singing in the Wreckage' by Black Box Recorder, but I've decided on something less demure (😉😉)

Panic Shack /  'Girl Band Starter Pack'  / 'Panic Shack'