Love, Poetry and Revolution - Thursday 29th February 2024

I could write a lot today, but I am not planning to.  Why am I bothering to write at all, you may ask?  Purely because of the date.  The twenty-ninth of February only comes every four years (yes, I know there are exceptions to that rule - I have written code to deal with that in the past), when it's a leap year.  I feel, for no apparent reason, I should mark this day with some words.

It's starting to look a lot like E's decline has plateaued and we (the Sue Ryder nurse, maybe GP) may well decide to change the way medication is delivered.  We'll not stop giving her medication to reduce the likelihood of seizures, nor will we stop the pain-relief medication because I think everyone that knows agrees there is no turning back from that.

Respite.  That's what I need, though as yet it's not easy to arrange. Maybe that will become a possibility next week. Within the family, we've been having lots of discussions about the end and how we want it to be, and where we want to be when it happens.  Tough stuff to consider. 

Tonight we should all, at least the sons who are in the UK, be going to Stewart Lee's 'Basic Lee' tour at a local arts venue.  I'm looking forward to that.  Laughter is powerful medicine.

As we don't know when it's going to happen, I've been spending time talking to E about the end. I'm not sure who this is meant to help? Me, or her? I've been speaking to lots of professionals in the field of palliative care, and one thing that I've learnt is that people often choose to go just as they are left alone. Who knows?  It's not possible to be perfect, only human. No more than that.

Becca Mancari /  'Bad Feeling'  / 'The Greatest Part'


[[This has appeared here before, maybe three years ago, but despite there being lots of other candidates ('Crush' by Cigarettes After Sex, some new stuff by Masal and Cheer-Accident), I've picked it again.

I love the understated instrumentation and also Becca's phrasing and intonation, especially the pause between 'Baby Please' and 'don't'. There's something truly magical and sensual about it.  Weirdo.]]

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