Love, Poetry and Revolution - Sunday 8th September 2024

In her later years, Mum used to say, "Don't get old", to which I'd invariably reply, "It's better than the alternative". She used to say it with conviction so I believe it's how she felt. Given her last decade was increasingly obscured by the fog of dementia, a period during which she became increasingly frightened by her inability to make sense of her surroundings, I'm unsurprised.

I often wonder if this is how E feels. Locked in. Unable to communicate her feelings and wishes. The world must seem frightening and incomprehensible. Painful.

Getting old is a privilege denied to many, but how much pleasure you take from each new day is determined by your quality of life and ability to affect that quality.

For most people, you must get older to fully appreciate life and the benefits of being older.   Now I'm here, I want to live a lot longer. To that end, I've recognised how much I've neglected certain things over the past fifteen years, particularly my health and fitness. Both of which are now more of a focus.  I need to restart yoga, which has mental and physical benefits. (I have, already).  I find dedicated exercise boring as hell, meaning it's hard to get motivated.  I could never spend hours in a gym.  It's not me. I could listen to music, but my enjoyment would be spoilt by the need to focus on what I'm doing. I need to walk more.  I also need to start gardening as I think that may help. Once the garden work is finished, I will begin to do that.  Housework too, though as we have a cleaner, that may be a step too far.

Since I've started slowing down, I've found more time to appreciate the beauty in the little things in life.  The skies. The sounds of nature. Even local nature, not just the wonders of the sea or dales or lakes. 

Friends and family are like treasure. I grew up in a family of satellites, inhabiting different orbits. Never getting close. Something that E and I were at pains to avoid, when bringing up our sons.  Missteps. Only my sisters remain from the satellites of my youth and we're closer than ever.  

I've always loved poetry. I appreciate it even more. Slowing down. Taking time. Less of 'a bull at a gate'.

I still have this unsatisfied need to create.  If I don't find what I want to do soon, I never will.

Nothing is guaranteed. Carpe diem.

piri & tommy villiers /  'Soft Spot'  / (Single) 

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