Nine Feet Underground

It's strange how words or phrases that you consider to be commonplace or part of a shared language don't always transfer to your children. After I showered this morning, son #3 was also going to take a shower. In jest, I said I was "done but not brown", which I thought was a good "off-the-cuff" pun. He didn't understand the pun, and so I had to explain (never the best way with puns or jokes) that "dun" is a shade of brown (greyish brown, officially), as used in the phrase "the dun cow". There are lots of pubs called "The Dun Cow" (look it up). There are als myths about them/it. Oh, well. Never mind. Whilst I was out walking, I was musing on this incident amongst other things and thought, 'I guess it's a bit like me reading Shakespeare and not understanding some of the phrases'. Like the line, "...Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo..." which many people believe (myself included, until I dug deeper) ...

Back in 2018, I heard a song that instantly captured my heart. I suppose it's a melancholy tune; several of the lyrics struck a chord and are similarly melancholic.  At the time of hearing the tune, I was beginning to emerge from the storm-tossed sea of melancholia I was immersed in. I still love the song, though I am in a much calmer and comforting sea now, thankfully. ( “God! ... Isn't the sea what Algy calls it: a great sweet mother? The snotgreen sea. The scrotumtightening sea. Epi oinopa ponton. Ah, Dedalus, the Greeks! I must teach you. You must read them in the original. Thalatta! Thalatta! She is our great sweet mother. Come and look.” ) I've been listening to the song several times recently, and it struck me that it was a bit prophetic by way of both the song title ('Hello') and also its reference to Q in the second line.  I didn't know her at the time, but perhaps this song pointed to a brighter future. [Verse 1] I arrived at two from a thought I had T...

In and out the dusty WordPress instances! (bluebells) I seem to be tangled up in managing and building WordPress instances, most recently the one for Q and I's wedding. It looks as though I'm going to have to migrate that site from WordPress.com to a WordPress.org instance on my virtual host. Virtually incomprehensible! Once you're in IT, you can never leave. For the past few days I've been experiencing severe back pain - so much so that I've had to take stronger painkillers than I normally would.  This is the sort of thing that happens when you get older.  My mum always used to say, "Don't get old". I'm beginning to understand what she meant, though I still believe the balance is still in favour of getting older, I get very bored hearing the same music over and over. That's why I like listening to music randomly.  Trouble is, it always starts from a pre-defined list,  so unless the list is infinite , the level of surprise is limited.  I'd ...

I've been to another reading group today - different people, different book. This group has just started reading the Kate Atkinson novel, 'Behind the Scenes At The Museum'.  Some interesting ideas and writing, though a family saga across the generations does not immediately appeal to me.  With any luck, I'll be able to go next week and perhaps be drawn into it. We also read a poem by Philip Larkin (second one this week!) titled, 'Portrait', which I've screen-shotted (?) below: This was chosen to parallel a darker section near the start of the novel.  There was a lot of discussion today, and a subset of us went for a coffee afterwards.  We chatted about the Geoff Dyer memoir 'Homework' and the Titanic exhibition at the White Star line building (as was) near the docks here. Last night Q and I watched the first two episodes of the new Netflix series, ' How To Get To Heaven From Belfast ', by the woman who wrote 'Derry Girls'.  It's b...

I'm back up North after my latest visit down south.  I went to one of my shared reading groups yesterday, where we read a short story by Amy Tan called 'The Rules of The Game'.  I enjoyed it so much, I've decided I will read 'The Joy Luck Club' by her soon.  Once I'm through a bit more of my backlog.  Good conversations at the reading group and some new faces bringing new perspectives and youth, relatively speaking. My new, one-purpose blog is up and running now. We just recently watched an enjoyable comedy series, 'Small Prophets', which is both funny and warmhearted. If you haven't watched it, do! Small Prophets trailer Down to the serious business of music.  Today I've chosen something relatively recent by B C Camplight from the album 'The Last Rotation Of Earth'. One of my favourite tracks is 'I'm Ugly', a very amusing song lyrically speaking.

I've just returned from a walk in the rain, ironically to see if the route to the pub has flooded. It hasn't. Yet. I went to see Kavus Torabi on the last night of the final leg of his tour in support of his solo album, 'The Banishing'. Had a good chat with him before and after his set, and he talked of his plans for the next two years. The imminent release of another Gong album, followed by a big tour, and then the release of another solo album in October. Good to chat. (I also went full-on fan-boy and got a selfie with him.  As usual, I took a dreadful photo of me, at least) I spent some time listening to music yesterday, and amongst the gems I'd not listened to for a while was a song from the album 'Soon Over Babaluma' by the German band Can. Can are one of my favourite bands across the years. Their musical styles are diverse, often far from what you might call 'rock' music. They have a great sense of humour too. Where they picked up on styles from...

This blog has seen several changes since I started it, in terms of content and name.  It's time for another change, though one which is more in tune (!) with how it began The change is driven by the creation (or impending creation) of a new blog. The new blog will cover a period of uncertainty. It will be private and by invitation only, or it will be if I can get the security to work.  I've already written several posts for it.  I hope to have it working in a week.  The domain is already registered, and the blog software is up and running, but that's it.  It's intended to keep friends and family updated during the uncertain time and will be written by me initially, but then entirely by Q while I can't do anything much. So what's going to happen here? During this period of uncertainty, I have found much solace in music as I always have in difficult times. I'm going to use this blog to document the music that inspires or supports me. I'll probably struggle...

The idea for this post began from a strange feeling I had one morning in the past week. How do I know I am me? What makes me, me? Is 'me' the physical body that is typing this or is 'me' the thing (mind?) thinking these thoughts that is directing my physical body to interact with the keyboard and type? Or maybe I am the combination of the two aspects? It also depends on whether the mind is purely physical (chemical reactions) or something more, something unknown and undefined. Is 'my' existence inevitable or purely random?  Was the egg that, once fertilised, grew to be me, only ever going to be me, if fertilised? I was one egg out of millions, combined with one sperm out of millions.  Are all eggs identical until fertilised by one unique sperm? I have sisters, and so were their eggs predestined to be them and not me. Is the DNA of all eggs from the same mother identical? Can any one egg can become any particular offspring if combined with the right sperm? For id...

There's stuff I want to blog about but I think it's too detailed/personal to be open for public access. Consequently, I'm investigating private blogs which have controlled access, which can be limited to people I/we invite.  Something that meets the need might not exist, but it's worth a look.  Ideally I'd like it to be hosted outside the USA.  It might only be in existence for six months to a year or two, until it's served its purpose. How to make the most of life on a day-to-day basis when you have commitments and demands that need to be taken care of? Jetting off to a Pacific or a Caribbean island is not an option, even assuming the USA hasn't decided to invade it. I need to dedicate some time to thinking this through over the next few days.  A couple of dates need to be finalised, but once that's done we can enact whatever we have planned. A completely left-field musical discovery from last year is Lost Crowns.  They are quite clearly from the Cardia...

Why me? A question we've all probably asked at some point in our lives. The answer, though not the one we'd like, is why not me? Life is random. We should take every day as a gift, but when life is flowing smoothly (whenever that's going to be!), it's hard not to squander your time.  I'll leave that until tomorrow.  We can go there another day. Let's do that next year instead.  We've all said and/or done it. It's hard not to. Trouble is, there might come a day when things deferred are in jeopardy.  Those future days might not be guaranteed, one way or another. I'm still making sense of what this means. I just know it to be true. The song I've chosen is 'Black Cat' by Gentle Giant.   This tune has been stuck in my head for a few weeks now, and was chosen in honour of two black cats who are no longer with us.  The metre of the song reminds me of a cat slinkily walking, in no hurry to get anywhere.

A life can be considered as a multitude of parallel streams, each of which feeds into the main flow of your river of life.  The streams represent paths not taken whenever choices arose. When you choose a path, you exclude another path.  Whichever route you choose, you don't know what would have happened if you'd chosen differently. You do have to believe, assuming you are happy with where you find yourself, that the other path wouldn't have been better. Sometimes a wrong decision can take you down a path you're not enjoying and still lead you back to happiness.  Either way, there will be joy on the path you chose, even amongst the weeds that choke the stream. The song I've chosen, '1000 Years' by The Coral, touches on these themes.

I'm not a big fan of nostalgia. Never have been.  I don't believe in the idea that things were much better in the past. A bad case of rose-tinted spectacles and all that.  I prefer to look forward. Despite the current state of the world, I believe there is better to come, both individually and globally. Clearly, this is a preamble for a volte face - almost but not quite.  I have gradually started to accept that good things in the here and now can come from roots in the past. My rejection of the past has been a bit extreme, and I've come to realise (I am a slow learner) that the past makes me who I am now. All of which is an excuse for a trip down memory lane.  Many years ago I worked in the IT department of a supermarket chain, a chain that is no more as it got gobbled up by bigger fish.  The team I worked in included two other men with the same Christian name as me. Up until then I don't think I'd met anyone with the same name. To distinguish each other we had ...

Carpe Diem There is much encouragement from society to make the most of every day. Identify the small things that bring pleasure. Be grateful for what you have, not what you lack or desire. This is all sensible advice, but we can't be exploring a new part of the world every day.  Jumping out of planes (with parachutes, ofc), flying at 500 knots through the Machynlleth loop in the backseat of an F15E at 250 feet above the ground. Gradually, day-to-day life imposes its mundane aspects on us and the possibility of living each day as if it will be our last soon fades away.  It would be too exhausting and become rather tedious.  We find pleasure in the people and activities we love, or go mad. Sometimes life intervenes and is determined to slap us around the face with a wet fish to remind us of our mortality. But there are escapes... Music is one of the things that keeps me energised, so I'm very grateful to still have some hearing (despite the loud concerts and fast jet noise...

As I begin this post, my expectation is that it will be about my TIDAL music listening stats for 2025. Let's start with a link to those stats: TIDAL Recap 2025   Just in case TIDAL take down these numbers, I've taken some screenshots which I'd like to write about. First up is top artist, which reads as follows: Toddly, Odd Rundgren held the top spot, probably because Q and I went to see him live in Birmingham. As Q is not familiar with the great man's oeuvre, I created a playlist which included the songs likely to be in his setlist.  I tried to bias this towards the songs I felt she'd find most palatable. In the event, the gig was so loud that the palatability of songs was a moot point. It was very much a gig for fans as well as being ruddy loud. Pardon? The gig opened with 'How About A Little Fanfare?' which segued into one of my favourite Todd songs, namely 'I Think You Know': Perhaps prophetically, it includes the line, " I can't explain ...

I implied there'd be another, and there is. This is it. I have been doing quite a lot, so there's probably a lot to write about. I'm uncertain how much I am in the mood to write, though. I'm going to list a lot of the things I could write about, then see what that sparks in the little grey cells. Of note: Bagheera being put to sleep Robyn Hitchcock John Bishop Suzanne Vega Todd Rundgren Slow Horses (Season 5) Celebrity Traitors MAFS UK (Have mercy on my soul) The Sandman Lots of Archaeology on TV Ancestors (Book) The Idler The White Lotus (Season 1 - Descent into Hell) Online Course at the James Joyce Cultural Centre in Dublin studying 'A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man' (Next 6 weeks) The Reader at Calderstones Park Mansion House Back pain/Balance - Full Spine MRI scan (next week) The saddest thing has been the death of Q and φ's cat, Bagheera. She was a lovely black cat and is much missed. Q and I saw Robyn Hitchcock at Prohibition Studios in Liverpo...

Next week would have been E's birthday. Her first birthday since she died. Every day is the birthday of millions of people, living and dead. I'm wrestling with how to commemorate this day.  The date is still the day of her birth; however, she is not physically here to have her birthday celebrated. If someone is no longer here, should you celebrate their birthday? In remembering, we are commemorating.  It's not something that can be forgotten (not that I want to), not this close to her death, but perhaps it's about how I and our sons and her brother feel inside. For me, it feels wrong to celebrate the day, especially now. As her illness progressed, each birthday had less and less to celebrate. We always marked the day. More or less, even though it became impossible to do the things we would have done, since E couldn't leave the house. I have spoken to my sons about this upcoming date to see if they would like to do something special to mark the occasion.  So far, th...

I have been swimming deeply in the sea of life, often miles from land, and there hasn't been space to write. Have you ever tried writing whilst immersed in the sea? Much has been going on externally and internally. Getting engaged to Q in July has necessitated some early planning, starting with where and when we'll be getting married.  We have a date and a location.  Based on the date of the wedding we've booked a venue for the party.  These two dates being agreed upon, we've sent out initial invitations: this is especially important for most of Q's family as they will be travelling from a land down under, namely Australia. Most of August was taken up with this planning, mentally if not physically. As wedding-related activities have started to crystallise, I have begun to realise that everything has been leading towards the big day next year. Destiny. I've also found it hard to write here for a couple of different reasons. A bee flew into my bonnet and took up r...

A post before July ends! Amazing! July has been incredibly busy socially and has sown seeds for the remainder of my life, hopefully.  I have long harboured an ambition to become a writer.  Writing always comes second to living life, so I don't think I have what it takes. It's not an all-consuming passion.  It's never too late (?) Q and I spent ten days in Italy early in the month.  The original plan was a week's holiday split between Venice and Florence, returning to Bologna (where we started) for an NGO conference that Q had to attend for a week.  Sadly, Q's actual job needed her back at work earlier, so we left Bologna early on Wednesday morning of the second week. I had travelled to Italy intending to ask Q to marry me, to which end I had purchased a temporary ring to seal the deal.  Where and when to propose? I had Venice in mind as I love the city and think it's a romantic place to propose. On the assumption I would propose there, I had a few places in...