Darkness Rising January 2019

Here we are in 2019, more than half way through January and I've not managed to write a word. Not a single, solitary, one.  Well, not here at least, and not until now. I've written a lot elsewhere but that is 'out of scope' (ha!) of this blog as per the comments you'll read further on. January is a depressing month, I find. After the usual euphoria and positivity about the new year, the changes that will come, and 'it's gonna be better than last year (thinks: it can't be worse...surely?)' the reality sets in. The downturn in mood is not helped by it being dark, gloomy, cold and so on - some wag will doubtless say 'the days are getting longer, do you know it was still light at (insert whatever time you think sounds plausible) last night'. My answer to them is "fuck off".

On a positive note (yes, he does have something positive to say, OK?), I have made some changes - which I need to establish as habits - such as twice-daily sit ups and press ups (on top of other exercise I was already doing), yoga sitting practice and, most important of all, I have changed my working hours so I only work 4 days a week.  My weekends now include Monday, which makes Sunday a whole lot better and the week as a whole more tolerable, in certain ways.  I should also be making mindful meditation a daily habit but I am finding it difficult to fit that in at the moment, primarily because work is especially busy. That in itself goes against the whole point of establishing a healthier work life balance, so it is something I must urgently fix. [As an aside, I note that recent research has shown that the healthiest people (mentally as well as physically) are those who work no more than 30 hours a week. There it is.]

You may ask what in heaven's name has all this got to do with music? Well, in one sense, fuck all, but then again for me, a whole lot.  My experience of life day to day and hour to hour and the music I listen to are inextricably linked. 

Way back in the last half of 2018 I wrote in one these blog posts that I wanted to change the content and dynamic of the blog and this is just a manifestation of that change. I had at one time considered making this blog (or maybe creating a second blog under a different pseudonym) into an anonymous, soul-searching, 'warts and all', diary but decided against it.  Anonymity is pretty much impossible, someone could easily find out who I am.  Some of the things I would have to write could be hurtful to some people, if it got back to them.  This bothers me in the sense that writers (he harbours ambitions to be a writer? Ludicrous! Self-important fool!) are supposed to use anything as material, no matter the consequence, in the pursuit of truth and for the sake of their art (art, for the sake of fuck, who does he think he is?), so not being honest would devalue the undertaking. So, at least to date, that is an idea that has never taken flight.  There was more to it than that and it was to have a purpose that might benefit others in the same boat, but...

Anyway, about music...almost, but not quite yet.  So these blog entries got into a pattern of sorts towards the end of last year.  They were vaguely diary entries, with a glimpse into my then prevailing state of mind, but hiding to an extent behind the fine words of greater writing than I could ever hope to produce.  I want to try and shake this up further this year, but don't yet know the form that will evolve into.  I guess this one is a start.

Music, then...This probably should have been my top albums of the year survey, but that's not proved possible, mainly 'cos I still haven't listened to all the ones I have yet. (Thank Santa for that!) The good thing - at least from a review of last year's albums perspective - is that I've started listening to albums from 2019. Yes, there already are some! Never look back! (That being said, at some point I will finish listening to the albums and come up with a top 5 or a top 10 or something completely different...)

[2019 albums...before I forget (though I'm sure there is more to come on these)...Sharon Van Etten's 'Remind Me Tomorrow' is sooo good;  also a welcome return from Ultramarine with 'Signals into Space' (featuring as guest on several tracks Anna Domino - cool)  - this being less dancey than earlier stuff;  and - on first listening less convincingly - Deerhunter with 'Why hasn't Everything Already Disappeared?' (not sure I've totally got them since the days of 'Microcastle' / 'Weird Era Cont' and 'Halcyon Days') on the reissue front there's an interesting sounding Japanese ambient compilation featuring stuff never before released outside Japan; a Michael Rother solo compilation box set and most intriguingly a 21 CD/Bluray (yes I did say 21!!) box set of Virgin era Tangerine Dream which should include the first proper video release of the legendary Coventry Cathedral gig with the real soundtrack (as opposed to the bastardised lash-up that Tony Palmer is peddling at the moment) all curated / mixed by the now-legendary Steven Wilson.]

Back to the song I've chosen. It's from 2018.  It's the title track from Kathryn Joseph's excellent album 'From When I Wake The Want Is'.  Kathryn Joseph was a late discovery for me.  I heard about her from Paul Draper (of Mansun fame) and Catherine Anne Davies (aka The Anchoress).  Had a bit of a FB conversation with Catherine (name dropper!!!) and she recommended this album and Kathryn's first. She was right. Kathryn is bloody brilliant! The song speaks for itself so...just listen.

Hopefully my next post will be less disjointed - and I also plan to return to daily posts - there's a threat! Quotes from poems may also return, though as I've been exploring the darker poems of Baudelaire and Verlaine of late, it may be best if I hold off for a bit.

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