Psycho (Eleven Days To Go)

"Man, I think I'm going mad again..."

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Love, Poetry and Revolution - Sunday 7th December 2025

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As I begin this post, my expectation is that it will be about my TIDAL music listening stats for 2025. Let's start with a link to those stats: TIDAL Recap 2025   Just in case TIDAL take down these numbers, I've taken some screenshots which I'd like to write about. First up is top artist, which reads as follows: Toddly, Odd Rundgren held the top spot, probably because Q and I went to see him live in Birmingham. As Q is not familiar with the great man's oeuvre, I created a playlist which included the songs likely to be in his setlist.  I tried to bias this towards the songs I felt she'd find most palatable. In the event, the gig was so loud that the palatability of songs was a moot point. It was very much a gig for fans as well as being ruddy loud. Pardon? The gig opened with 'How About A Little Fanfare?' which segued into one of my favourite Todd songs, namely 'I Think You Know': Perhaps prophetically, it includes the line, " I can't explain ...
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Love, Poetry and Revolution - Thursday 17th October 2024

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The longer things stay the same, the more it seems that's the way they'll stay. No longer? Ever since returning from hospital some three years ago, and her brush with death whilst there, E's illness has followed a familiar and consistent pattern. Brief intense periods of illness (infections, seizures, that sort of thing) followed by longer periods of slow, continuous decline. Latterly she's been experiencing other symptoms, most especially bouts of pain of unknown origin.  When she's been in pain, it's often been associated with mild seizures which pass in a minute or two, with help. E is in an end-of-life care period during which comfort is the priority, which can throw up unexpected challenges. Her pain medication has been increased, but she still experiences pain at times. It's a bit of a challenge. On the one hand, we don't want her to be in pain, on the other it's hard to know how long the pain will last and we don't want to rush in and give...
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Love, Poetry and Revolution - Thursday 14th November 2024

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For about a week, maybe more, I've had a cold.  It's one of those colds that refuses to go quickly. I have shared it widely, unintentionally, though of course, I may not be the source of all the colds, there are so many about. I'm not here to write about my cold, though. It's a lead-in to something more pernicious. Accompanying the cold, especially as it slowly fades, I've had a bad headache. Initially, I thought it was cold-related, but I've come to believe it's a physical manifestation of stress - a topic that opens a crate of cans of worms. The stress I'm experiencing is probably the result of several things I'm anxious about. I had considered listing the things I thought were at the root of it, and then deciding whether they belong in the category of things I can control or cannot control. Instead, I've decided to dig deeper and write about it in the hope that writing it down helps control it and maybe it helps more widely.  I've always b...
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Love, Poetry and Revolution - Thursday 29th February 2024

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I could write a lot today, but I am not planning to.  Why am I bothering to write at all, you may ask?  Purely because of the date.  The twenty-ninth of February only comes every four years (yes, I know there are exceptions to that rule - I have written code to deal with that in the past), when it's a leap year.  I feel, for no apparent reason, I should mark this day with some words. It's starting to look a lot like E's decline has plateaued and we (the Sue Ryder nurse, maybe GP) may well decide to change the way medication is delivered.  We'll not stop giving her medication to reduce the likelihood of seizures, nor will we stop the pain-relief medication because I think everyone that knows agrees there is no turning back from that. Respite.  That's what I need, though as yet it's not easy to arrange. Maybe that will become a possibility next week. Within the family, we've been having lots of discussions about the end and how we want it to be, and where we ...
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Lockdown Diary - Tuesday 13th October 2020

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Back to work! There are a whole host of deliveries due today, from feed supplies for my wife, a book for my son at uni and birthday presents for the twins. I'm also due at the GP surgery for a flu jab at 11:16 precisely! Not only that but 'our' electrician is coming to replace the two extractor fans in the bathrooms: the one in the en-suite is dead and, given both are over 27 years old, I thought it best to replace that one before it dies too. I'm hoping there's not too much non-electrical work to do, as he's not  big fan (!) of that. The electrician arrived at around 9:30, just after the morning carers started their tasks, so it was all a bit hectic with coming and goings through the front door whilst the carers were washing my wife's hair in bed. My wife's bedroom is directly opposite the front door and the bathroom they use is by the door, so it was all a little fraught 'til the electrician had got all his tools and stuff in. I returned to work wh...
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