Nine Feet Underground

Shopping Saturday, blah, blah, blah! Son #3 has been co-opted to accompany me as son #2's course continues on today - a deal has been done. During shopping I bumped into two of the women from my yoga class, one who is working in Waitrose until the John Lewis store re-opens and the other who was just out shopping.  It was good to speak to different people in real life, for a change. I am missing both doing yoga and being with the people (even if only over Zoom) whilst I do it. I hope it won't be too long before I am able to get back into it. The usual morning of chores ensues.  The eagle has landed. Son #3 and I make lunch reasonably early as he's going out walking with a friend and I want to have eaten something before my covid vaccination. Back from my Covid vaccination - had to wait around for 10-15 minutes to make sure I didn't have an adverse reaction, but it was fine.  One thing that did surprise me was how busy the town centre was. I don't know if it was just ...

Up especially early for a Friday:  our cleaner is coming today and, as always on a Friday, the first carer of the day is early too.  When the carer arrives, with the cleaner hot on her heels, I'm up, dressed and ready.  I show the carer my latest work of art whilst she is getting my wife's meds done. We share a joke and she gets on with setting the PEG feed pump up and giving meds. I seem to have returned to a lousy sleep pattern this past couple of weeks.  I'm really not sleeping well, waking often with much on my mind. This isn't helped by the twins both being up all fucking night chirpsing - I'm constantly woken by chatter and once I'm hearing it, it's hard to get back to sleep, especially given my mind is thrashing too. More drugs please! I'm off to Woodley for 8 a.m., having already breakfasted,  so that I can post something early, pick up meds from the pharmacy for me and my wife, go to the GP surgery to pick up a letter for a consultant, grab some...

Usual plan for a working weekday day ahead, give or take any surprises! Up early for first carer call of the day and so I can get started on work promptly.  Today is unusual in that the cleaner is not coming but will be tomorrow, nevertheless there are quite a few other visitors are expected. First caller of the day was a friend of the family who has set up a car valeting business and, unsurprisingly, he's here to valet my car inside and out - the first time it's been cleaned since the last service, which was quite a while ago! Not long after the main morning carer call, the next visitor was one of our GPs who came to give my wife the Oxford/Astra-Zeneca covid vaccine.  That all went without a hitch, though I'll need to keep an eye on my wife as when her immune response kicks in she'll probably get very tired because of her MS. During the lunch carer call, we get another visitor - this time one of the community/district nurses who as come to change the water in my wife...

Yep, work again! I need to finish some slides for a presentation I'm due to give on Friday, so it's going to be head down all day, I suspect.   Work in the afternoon was interrupted by a call from the practice manager at my GP surgery: they want to come out and give my wife the vaccine (Oxford / Astra-Zeneca) tomorrow.  Obviously I say yes and decide to ask about me, mentioning that I'd heard that carers were bumped up the list.  As she understood my wife's situation and was aware that I'm her main carer, she put me down for a dose of the Pfizer vaccine this coming Saturday.  Apparently despite there being a recommendation that carers (for family members) should be vaccinated early, this is still not in place in terms of the order of priority.  She said I should be in the current bunch by age (though oddly was not on the list) anyway, so she was happy to put me down on the list now. That good news aside, it's back to work - really pushing to finish the slid...

Back to work! Work is very busy and life is in a state of flux at the moment, so I'm not having a lot of time to stop and think or process what's going on. Consequently I'll probably not write much here. It is impossible to understand how another person thinks. Work over. I'm making dinner as everyone else is busy. To be fair, it makes a change for me to be doing it on my own, so I really can't complain.  I am behind with some things though, which is a pain. Son #1 and I watched a documentary called 'The Nine Lives of Ozzy Osbourne'.  It was both interesting and entertaining. Maybe could have done with a bit more footage of Black Sabbath and interviews with the rest of the band, but hey, whaddo I know? I was quite surprised to find I'd not previously chosen any Black Sabbath in these lockdown diary times.  Now seems to be the right time to rectify that!  I've yet to be persuaded - and it's been this way since I was a teenager - that 'Sabbath...

Restless start to Monday.  Chatting to early morning carer and seeking her advice.  After that the usual getting up process. I don't know how the morning got used up, but it did, and culminated in a meditation session, during which I got a message which hopefully indicates some level of progress, though one can never tell. In the afternoon my focus was on finishing the book club novel 'Where The Crawdads Sing', which I managed to do, a week early.  This should, all other things being equal, give me time to read other stuff I want to read. Son #3 and I make dinner, son #2 being on his training course until 10 p.m. UK time. Only three of us for dinner and so no 'Mr. Robot', instead we watch Frankie Boyle, before the usual wind down. Heard this for the first time in ages this evening and it still sounds brilliant - Tears For Fears with 'Sowing The Seeds Of Love' from the album 'The Seeds of Love' [[~]]

I'm a little adrift at the moment which means I'm not finding it that easy to focus on things, but I do need to get some jobs done, read the papers and maybe read more of the book club book. Chores under way, it's time to read the papers - got a lot to catch up on as I barely read any yesterday (see above)! Around lunchtime I start a call with a friend in Berlin - probably not the ideal time, but with Central Europe an hour ahead it'll have to do - we've been trying to arrange a call for a few weeks, but I've been so busy at work it's not happened.  The good thing is there's no restriction on when how long we can speak for, so we can roam far and wide and do.  In the end we chat for something like ninety minutes, after which it's time to eat lunch. After finishing the papers and remaining chores it's time to start prepping dinner: son #3 and I prepare the vegetables before son #2 takes over the rest. Usual proceedings: dinner and the first episod...

Standard start to Saturday with son #1 accompanying me shopping - he was up in plenty of time primarily because he didn't actually go to bed until after shopping and breakfast. After cutting my hair it's time for the usual boring chores, whilst finding time to keep in touch with friends.   After lunch I had a call from my mother-in-law, which is becoming a regular feature of Saturday, not least because I appear to be the only person she speaks to most weeks.  After more than an hour the conversation comes to a natural end and I go and ask son #2 if he's up for a walk a bit later, and he is so we agree to go at around 4:30 p.m. (he does have get dressed, after all) In the meantime I discover that the Royal Mail has finally delivered the letter I sent on Wednesday, which I am relieved about. Time for a walk - it's very mild so for the first time in a while I just go out in a light jacket.  We manage to walk for a little over half and hour, which is a good sta...

Going to be another quiet day here, as I'll be very busy with work - at least it will keep my mind off other things, Royal Mail notwithstanding. Start the day in the usual way, chatting to the early morning carer.  After she leaves I finish getting ready and get breakfast before starting work. Apart from work there are a few deliveries that puncture the day:  new shelves for the oven; a bag of 100 assorted shims (oh, the excitement!); the latest issue of music magazine 'Eighth Day', which I'd forgotten about; my wife's new medical exemption certificate. In the afternoon I briefly 'chat' (Messenger) with one of the authors of a new book on the Canterbury music scene and end up with a 30% discount code, which prompts me to order it. Afterwards I get that 'should you really be spending money on that?' feeling and a mist of guilt descends. There are higher priority items that I should really be spending my money on. Sackcloth and ashes. I also go online ...

Cometh the man, cometh the hour. Or so I hope. Another day of full-on working, most of which will involve me either staring at a screen writing a document or staring at a screen researching other documents and tools to fill in gaps in the document. Not much else going on today, except work. The usual interactions with the carers, but not much else to speak of. As the working day comes to a close, it is clear that today is a case of 'the best laid plans...' Tonight it's Idler drinks, as usual for a Thursday, and tonight's guest is Sam Lee who as well as being a folk singer is a conservationist and big proponent of the Nightingale.  The talk focuses on the wonders of the Nightingale, Sam having written a book, soon to be published, on the bird.  Apparently Nightingale numbers have declined from around a hundred thousand pairs in the 1960s, to around five thousand pairs today. This decline is largely due to the destruction of their habitat, which is most significant becaus...

Started the day chatting to the first carer, talking through some stuff and she had some good suggestions which will hopefully help in the casting of the runes.  Work begins having lit the blue touch paper: time will tell. Apart from the usual carer calls I'm expecting a visit from the community matron to check my wife's skin over and to discuss a few other things. From a work point of view these nurse / matron visits are always slightly problematic - I generally don't know when they'll happen, other than say morning or afternoon, but when they arrive I have to stop whatever I'm doing because I have to be party to all the conversation and decisions because my wife can't speak, and maybe not fully understand either. As it turns out beyond the purpose of the visit, the matron has an 'ask' of me too.  Apparently community nursing is under a lot of additional pressure due to staff turnover and so she asks me if I'll consider taking on the job of emptying...

Back to work on Shrove Tuesday / pancake day!  As I'm expecting to be on a video call with friends this evening, the pancake duties (and dinner in general) will fall to sons 1 and 2 (son #3 being embroiled in a 'Rocket League' (don't ask) tournament with friends from uni this evening) unless we start cooking really early. Until then it's going to be work for most of the day, apart from the usual interruptions and one less common one. The carers ask me to sort something out for my wife, which needs me to contact the community matron which also prompts me to contact the continence prescription service for some additional supplies too. They remind me that today is catheter flush day too, so I get the bits I need out of the cupboard ready for lunchtime. My document-writing was interrupted mid-morning by the arrival of a plumber to quote for a few jobs that need doing, one of which I wasn't sure was possible.  He's had a look round and worked out what needs to do...

Trying to make the most of my non-working day, despite lockdown limitations. I have a few things to do, some writing and thinking/planning and the replacement cooker is due to be fitted this afternoon. I'm up in time for the first carer call of the day, which I made sure of as I want to ask her for some advice.  She stopped preparing the meds and we had a quick chat whilst I took her advice on board.  Once she's finished the meds and setting up the PEG feed pump and said 'see you later', I go and get on with the process of fully getting up and ready to face the world. After breakfast I set up the ultrasonic diffuser I bought my wife for Valentine's Day: so far I only have one essential / fragrance oil, Plum Blossom & Musk, which I unleash upon an unsuspecting world. Shortly after setting up the diffuser my personal mobile rings and it's my pensions advisor.  Just a regular catch up with an update on things and the chance for me to update him about things tha...

Valentine's Day.  A day of mixed emotions in the post-MS world.  I have organised a range of things for my wife, including a flower delivery today and various other presents.  She should also have  received, according to a time-honoured tradition, an anonymous Valentine's card through the post yesterday, however Royal Mail have let me down - I guess it should arrive on Monday. The flowers were delivered before the second carer call and, as she was awake after the call, I decided to share the flowers with her. She liked the flowers and I have now displayed them in a vase after several attempts with vases that weren't quite right and rearranged them to display them to their best advantage. I'm no flower arranger, but I've had a go!  After the flowers she returned to sleep so the card and remaining presents will have to wait, probably until the lunch carer call. It is a strange day.  Almost everything we would normally have done on Valentine's Day is no l...

Usual start to Saturday, except incredibly cold.  Thermometer reads -5C, and that's without the wind-chill.  Son #3 and I's shopping trip will be exceptionally cold. Cold! That was an understatement! The worst thing was putting alcoholic hand gel on my hands in the cold air - as it evaporated it was making my hands red.   Home now so time to put the shopping away, then eat breakfast - coffee and a sausage sandwich!  I needed that.  I'm ready to take on the chores now, starting with washing up the rest of last night's stuff before really getting into the excitement of washing. I cannot wait. Hold me back. I've been informed by son #3 that film night might be in the balance tonight, in theory it's his turn to choose, however he may have a better offer - we shall have to wait and see. Washing's on, time to catch up on the papers for a bit.   Although it's almost half-past one, only son #3 and I are up, but we decide to make lunch anyway other wise we...

Fridays have lost their edge a bit these days.  On the plus side, no work tomorrow, on on the negative side, food shopping to do, and not much else other than not-work. I won't bother to say what today's all about, because it's the same as the previous three days.  Made an early trip to the Post Office at 9 a.m. to get some things off in time to be delivered tomorrow, fingers crossed. Cause not necessarily leading to effect. We're planning to have slow-cooked leg of lamb tonight and son #2 decides to put it on first thing, which I agree to though I tell him I can't help as I have calls to attend.   As promised he gets the dinner on - smells great and is making me feel hungry - though he doesn't have time to clear up the debris.  When I take a break from the screen and headset I survey the battlefield.  I can't leave it as it is and clear everything up, washing things and putting the some things in the dishwasher. After 10 or 15 minutes I have the kitch...

Another busy day of work ahead, with the usual consequences.  On top of that a man is coming to repair our oven today at some point, so that may cause some disruption to the day, but otherwise just another normal Thursday (sing to the tune of The Bangles 'Manic Monday'). Work dominates until around midday when son #2 and I both take a break from work to prepare the food for tonight's slow cooker chicken casserole. Veg chopped partially cooked, chicken browned, other ingredients weighed out, time for it all to go in the slow cooker for eight hours.  Now we can leave it and forget about it. Not long after that the  oven engineer arrives with the right parts, but ahead of the carers lunchtime call - it's going to busy in the kitchen soon! As luck would have it the cooker repairs take longer than expected, in fact after he's fitted all the parts and put it back the oven starts making a racket with the fan on, so he swaps the new fan for another new fan. Same problem. In...

Another cold day in what looks like being a cold week. This time we seemed to have escaped the snow, so the roads are not bad locally, though it's still pretty damn cold. A long day of work ahead, to be punctured by carer visits and one of the district nurses coming to change my wife's catheter. A nurse arrives mid-morning whilst I'm on a call with the team in India. I don't recognise her and she's not been here before, so I have to show her where the supplies are and so on.  I carry on on my call and before it has ended she's left the house. When I check my wife's catheter, there's a lot of blood, much more than usual. The nurse is still outside sat in her car, so I go outside to ask if all has gone OK.  She said there was a problem emptying the water from the balloon before removal, so that removal was a bit more difficult than normal.  She suggests my wife should have extra water so that it flushes through, so I agree that with her. I'm a little d...

Hell's teeth! It's cold this morning! Doesn't matter as I have to get up and get on, I'm being picked up at 8:45 a.m. to go for my ultrasound scan. Just in case I'm not supposed to eat or something before the scan I double check to make sure there aren't any restrictions.  No restrictions, so I can eat my breakfast before going, though I'll save the coffee until I return. I log on to work and review my emails and double-check what meetings are scheduled today, noting that one of them has been moved to a time which means I'll definitely not be able to attend. En-route to the hospital I message my sister to ask if she's working there today.  I've been to the hospital a lot of times since covid began and it still seems relatively empty compared to how it used to be, though there are a fair few people milling about. I head to the office where my sister works and let her know I'm outside.  She comes out for a chat in the corridor, both masked and ...