Nine Feet Underground

Up at 6 and out of the house at 7:15 on the shopping trail, my once a week ordeal combining my love of queuing with my almost equal love of trying to work out what food we need to ensure that we aren't bored of having the same things week in week out, that we have enough to last until the shopping delivery and that I don't buy a load of things that make us, for which, read me, get fat(ter). Thrill ride over, I return home to put all the stuff I've just bought away, start the washing and finally get some breakfast and coffee.  It's not as if you can throw in the luxury of buying a hot breakfast and a decent coffee to slightly improve the unrelenting borefest that is shopping nowadays. Engaged in some FBM with my younger sister to find out where I should send my nephew/her son's birthday card next week. I get a very strange reply which appears to have either undergone an unsuccessful encryption/decryption process or have been typed by someone who was losing the us...

Alarm at 6, out of bed 6:25, left knee uncomfortable so I'm skipping the early morning walk - maybe later.   All the usual things done and out the way in time to settle down for work at about 8:30am, and work takes over the majority of the day, apart from the brief interlude of putting emergency washing on and hanging it out. As if by magic, it's now 6:45pm. Where has the day gone? Time to put the work laptop and stuff away until next week and let the weekend begin.  Wine and music to start with, I think! Son #2 has taken control of tonight's dinner, which means I've been able to listen to music for a while longer.   Watched the final episode of the first series of 'His Dark Materials' then, feeling really knackered, went to bed, read and then slipped off listening to BBC 6 Music on a timer.  Kelley Stoltz doesn't get much recognition, despite releasing album after album of great songs.  From a few years back here's 'It's Summertime Aga...

Struggled to get up at 6am, but finally managed to wrestle with my conscience and got out of bed at 6:15.  Plan to go and walk for 30 minutes or so before 7am, or at least no later than ten past. Did it! Got back by 10 past 7 and, more importantly, before the first carer visit. Visit over, I showered, made some breakfast and settled down to work. Tum ti tum ti tum (this is me indicating the passage of time whilst I'm working). Had a brief break from work when the lunchtime carers arrived. Today was the day to change my wife's bedding whilst she was briefly out of bed in her special chair. My break was to put the washing on. It needs doing there and then because part of the bed is a special layer which is part of her bed positioning system (it aligns her body in the bed, as she can't move herself) and there are only two of these. One in use and one spare. If it needed changing unexpectedly then the spare has to be clean and dry, so no option but to do it there and then...

Up bang on 6am and started getting organised for yoga at 7. There's also some online food shopping admin that has to be done and by the time I've done that and got set up for online yoga, there's no time to walk first.  I'll either have to squeeze that in later or skip it until tomorrow. Yoga was the usual 30 minutes of breathing followed by salute the sun - today we hit the 20 minute milestone, well on the way to being ready to do 30 minutes on the morning of the Summer Solstice.  I've noticed that's a Sunday, which means I'll have to get up early on a Sunday for once. This is what I call dedication (or it will be if I do it!) Fun and frolics over, time for a shower, then work... ...which has occupied the bulk of the hours of the day, so far (it's just gone 4pm), apart from a brief break to flush my wife's catheter (two attempts, second one successful) and to meditate. Didn't stop to eat - I rarely do - just worked through lunch.  In the ...

Out of bed by 6:15 in an attempt to get my walk done ahead of the first carer call, which normally happens around 7:15 to 7:30 (it's usually nearer 7 on Friday, Saturday and Sunday).  I hit the streets between 6:35 and 6:40 which should give me 30 minutes or so with a bit of time to spare. Got home at about 10 past 7, with about 5-minutes to spare before my wife's carer arrived. After I let her in, I started to get set up for the working day ahead (I always put my work stuff away at the end of the week, so I can make a clean break between work and not-work) whilst chatting with her about this and that. When the care call was over I got showered, exercised and had breakfast to set me up for another exciting day of work. Apart from a couple of brief interludes, including meditation, it's been work all day long, 'as the sun beats down...' Work over I decided it was time to change my bed again. Son #2 kindly offered to help me turn the mattress - much easier wit...

Up with the larks (surely there's a law against that?) because. There is no reason to stay in bed, to be brutally honest. Make of that what you will.  (I had a visitation from the sweet bird of truth.) I have a great deal of pent up energy which cannot be quelled by exercise alone and it invades my mind, driving all sorts of wild imaginings. Some of it gushes forth in the form of words, but I can neither type as fast nor speak as fast as the words want to pour forth. I know the seat of that energy - I don't need the 'Introduction to Psychotherapy' course to understand that.  One has to hold back, though, since those raw thoughts don't look good when laid out for all to see. They must remain hidden, though not a single track, in case assumptions are being made. I feel like days are passing without value and these days are becoming weeks, and maybe months, but I cannot let them become years. Seize the day. Live every day as if it will be your last. Great words, no...

Started Sunday with my 'usual' 30-minutes brisk walk, though a bit later - more like 10 to 9. The second carer visit of the day was already underway by the time I got home, as expected.  Talked to carers and chatted about how they were then checked on my wife's catheter: 'is it blocking?', 'will I need to flush it today?' - the usual conversations. After the carers had finished I finished getting ready and did my remaining exercises (press-ups and weights) before putting the washing on and making a decent cup of coffee.  I drank the coffee and ate my almond croissant whilst reading the papers - a fine way to get Sunday underway, augmented today by reading the latest issue of 'Private Eye'. Unfortunately life cannot all be eating, drinking, reading and so on. Things need to be done. They don't do themselves, unfortunately. I noticed the car needed cleaning and, whilst mentioning this as we made lunch, son #2 volunteered to help. A kind offe...

Having got the worst part of Saturday out of the way, namely shopping, I can now kick back and enjoy a litany of chores.  Starting with washing. Actually, rewind that. Before doing the washing I undertook the incredibly tedious task of cleaning all the packaging that the shopping comes in, before putting it in cupboard, fridge, freezer or wherever the fuck it needs putting.  Part of me thinks this is surely overkill, but another part - influenced by sane friends (or at least friends I assume to be sane on the basis of no evidence to the contrary) and also the recommendation of experts - thinks it's not that big a deal and if it reduces the risk, even slightly, then it's worth it, especially given my wife is extremely vulnerable.  I really do not want to be the vector. That would be hard to live with. Chores...chores...and chores: B.O.R.I.N.G. Spent more time in the garden waging war on the bamboo. At the moment it's hand to hand combat, but the next step wi...

Was up by 6:25 this morning, but not early enough to walk before the first carer call of the day, which is usually bang on 7 on a Friday.  In all honesty, this was deliberate: I awoke with pain in the right-hand side of my left knee cap (the 'bad' leg), so I decided to rest it.  I've done 30+ minutes brisk walking on four consecutive days, which, given my knee / calf muscles were already giving me pain, was probably pushing it. Which reminds me... Whatever exercise I do, it's always all or nothing with me, and I tend to push myself and think, 'well, x does that much, so I can too', never taking into account they might be fitter, younger, or whatever.  Our yoga teacher is always reminding us it's not a competition and we shouldn't be comparing each other (not to mention most of them are women and they have an advantage when it comes to some of the hip opening poses), and I'm always conscious of the fact that I always push myself - if there's a h...

Another early start in order to walk for 30 minutes before starting my online day.  I need to get back by 7am, before the first carer call of the day, hence the early start. Brisk walking for 31 minutes complete, now I need to get organised for the working day ahead. Apart from a few deliveries and carer interruptions, I seem to have been stuck in front of the laptop all day, however the time is approaching 6pm and time for The Idler's 'Drinks With..'.  Tonight's guests are Armando Iannucci and Peter Fincham, so it should be good.  Another Idler meet over, with some great stories about 'The Thick Of It' and 'Brass Eye' amongst other things. A very pleasant way to spend an hour, especially after a day in front of the PC. Feels like a long time since I saw people, outside these four walls. Am I going stir crazy?  A small bit of good news today: the person who is Prime Minister appears to have taken a morally correct decision and agreed to lift th...

Got up at 6 and started to get myself ready to go for a 20-minute brisk walk.  I was pretty slow to get going and didn't leave the house until almost 6:30am, which meant it was going to be tight getting back in time for yoga at 7a.m. Nevertheless I made it, did 21 minutes brisk walking, got back, set up mat and blocks, got laptop started, in to Zoom and got changed with 2 minutes to spare. The usual format - 30 minutes of various breathing exercises and then 17 minutes of sun salute.  By the end of it I was sweating like the proverbial pig - just as well I'd planned to shower afterwards. Looks like this will be the new look Wednesday from now on: walking; yoga; shower; breakfast; work. After all that excitement, with the sun casting a glorious light over our back garden, I sat down at my laptop and started working. Work then consumed the rest of the day only interrupted by meditation, lunch, carer visits, and Boots delivering my wife's monthly medication. At about 5pm I...

Alarm set for 6am, but didn't manage to get out of bed until 6:25. Nevertheless I did manage to do 25 minutes of brisk walking and get home before the first carer visit. Tomorrow I'm going to have to be better organised, if I'm to get the walking done and be ready in time for yoga at 7am 😅 Work consumes the bulk of the day, only interrupted by lunch made and delivered by sons 2 and 3. Broke work up by meditating for 20 minutes and then going for another walk to ensure I exceeded my 30 minute brisk walking upper target. It's such beautiful weather outside that I have to use a lot of will power to persuade myself to return to my laptop and work.  I took a short break to read a bit more of 'Three Women' and am now approaching the mid-point, which means I should have plenty of time to finish it before book club meets to discuss it on the 1st June. I didn't manage to find time to listen to music other than my main Spotify playlist on random whilst I cleared up ...

For the past 2 or 3 weeks I've been getting intermittent pain in the calf muscle and behind the knee of my left leg. I've been wondering if it's caused by yoga or running - I've discounted digging in the garden since I've only recently started doing that. Based on past experience I have concluded that it's happening because I am not doing enough walking during the week.  Starting today I am going to do a minimum of 20 minutes brisk walking each day, ideally doing 30 minutes.  Got off to a good start this morning and did 30 minutes brisk walking (as defined by the NHS Active 10 app), let's see how I do tomorrow. As it's a work day tomorrow, I may have to get up earlier in order to fit it in. On the days when I run I won't necessarily do the 20/30 minutes.     On the return from my walk there was only 40 minutes until yoga, so I decided to keep moving so as not to let the muscles settle too much. Yoga takes a big chunk out of the morning and afterw...

Off to a good start with a run this morning, then warm down and shower, ready to face the day. Coffee and almond croissant for breakfast whilst I do next week's online shopping order. Next thing is washing. Need to do a white wash and by the looks of the day it'll be good drying weather.  In my wildest youthful imagination I could never have conceived of the wondrous things that would fill my adult days.  To FB Messenger for a few exchanges with friends near and far.  A friend has kindly completed son #3's student loan 'I am who I say I am' form, which we're going to hop in the car and pick up.  Tomorrow I'll need to go the post office and send this letter off using some kind of tracked method.  I haven't been to a Post Office for more than 8 weeks. What a thrill it will be! Carers arrived for lunch call.  I don my safety garb and do my catheter flush bit. Rips off disposable apron and returns to being Clark Kent. Caught up on the weekend's...

May is half way gone already?!? How can that be? A normal Saturday of shopping and washing marred by the necessity of gardening. Dug out loads more roots though I think some of the stumps will need more powerful medicine.  I reckon dynamite should do it. Unusually I've taken a call from our GP today, primarily to check up on my latest course of antibiotics which I need to take for two weeks, even though it's a more powerful antibiotic than the one I'm normally prescribed.  Apparently there's a very resistant bug to be killed - I guess it all tallies with what I've been feeling, so let's hope it does the job. It's me or the bug. Place your bets! Far too much of today has been spent doing chores - the evening is here and all I have to show for it are clean clothes and an assortment of cuts on my hands. I have wine now so I'm probably going to go a blow away the cobwebs with some loud music before it's time to make dinner. Didn't work out tha...

It's Friday, and another working week draws to a close.  I should be feeling a surge of energy as the weekend comes into view, however this is not how I'm feeling today. As so often happens, several negative influences conspire to combine at the same time to cause a more overwhelming wave of gloom. None of these influences are in my control, so there is nothing do to change them, only change how I respond to them. Like many things, easier said than done, but I am trying to change how these things are making me feel.  Work is the number one priority today: I've been dragged into help with an IT incident which is exercising the mind this morning. This will keep me occupied. Almost three hours later we have identified the cause of the problem and also a solution. Over to those who do the hands-on stuff to fix it. Back to the day job now. Great hot lunch provided by sons 2 & 3, which means I can carry on working. Deep joy. It's just gone 5pm and it's really no...

Another day in paradise. Work takes centre stage again, though I've a few other things to do today.  Got a text from our GP at 7:30am, the missing test results have been found and confirm what I already knew, I do still have an infection.  The bugs refuse to die so now we hit them with a bigger stick with spikes (aka a stronger antibiotic) that will lay waste to all in its path. Thanks to a wonderful friend I shall start taking that this evening, which should start having an effect by the weekend, with any luck. After the course is finished I'll return to the low dose antibiotic for prophylaxis and, fingers crossed, will stay infection free at least until my operation is due. Took a brief timeout from work late-morning to deliver son #3's student loan form to a friend who has kindly offered to verify he is who he says he is which will only leave one hurdle remaining - getting them to understand why his mum doesn't work or have an income. I'm sure I've done...

You all know the routine by now: Wednesday means early start for yoga breathing and sun salutes.  Today we did just over 15 minutes of sun salute which was pretty damn energising on top of the previous 30 minutes of breathing (the fire breathing has got to end up giving me a two-pack, if not six, or at least it would do if there was any justice in this life).  Our teacher has informed us we're working towards 30 minutes of sun salute by the summer solstice, which is certainly a goal to aim for. Death or glory! Fun over for now, it's back to the laptop and work In the background yesterday and today I've been helping son #3 complete his student finance application form and also renew his passport.  The former being hampered by the lack of the latter.  The current social distancing and associated restrictions don't make it any easier to sort.  Oh, well, we will find a way, I'm sure. A kind family friend has offered to sign the proof of identity form required for th...

Back to work! Got up early so that I can go to the GP pick up a sample tube, bring it home, fill it and then take it back to the surgery before I start work. The ongoing saga of the UTI rumbles on and, slap bang in the middle of it is me, getting fed up with the whole subject and just hoping that I can get the operation done before the year ends and have some chance of ending this saga which began almost a year ago now. I think I've spent more time on antibiotics than off this year to date. This can't be good on many levels. More news on Friday, hopefully.  Other things are getting me down, but this is at the top of the list. As for lockdown, well, nothing Doris has said this week changes anything for us, let alone gives any confidence they know what they are doing, so without any stronger evidence that things are actually significantly better, I am carrying on staying in as much of the time as possible. You know it makes sense. So, to work then (still from home, naturally, as ...

The usual early Monday start so I can finish breakfast two hours before yoga at 10am. I banged my head yesterday evening in the kitchen. I only mention this because I have this inexplicable thought that I ought to go and begin digging over the ground where the main circular bush was removed today.  Perhaps after doing yoga it will pass? Most strange. Yoga was excellent as always and I particularly enjoyed it when the teacher said, after holding a pose for several breaths, 'take your last breath', which made me laugh, because, in some poses, I think it just might be! Not long after finishing yoga the nurse arrived for my wife's regular catheter change, during which time I had several calls to make, for her and for me.  Just as I'd finished the calls the lunchtime carers arrived and after some chit-chat and abuse about getting on with the garden... ...I went and began to dig over the newly cleared ground. This is absolutely overrun with roots and tuber-type things...