Lockdown Diary - Monday 25th May 2020

Up with the larks (surely there's a law against that?) because. There is no reason to stay in bed, to be brutally honest. Make of that what you will.  (I had a visitation from the sweet bird of truth.)

I have a great deal of pent up energy which cannot be quelled by exercise alone and it invades my mind, driving all sorts of wild imaginings. Some of it gushes forth in the form of words, but I can neither type as fast nor speak as fast as the words want to pour forth. I know the seat of that energy - I don't need the 'Introduction to Psychotherapy' course to understand that.  One has to hold back, though, since those raw thoughts don't look good when laid out for all to see. They must remain hidden, though not a single track, in case assumptions are being made.

I feel like days are passing without value and these days are becoming weeks, and maybe months, but I cannot let them become years. Seize the day. Live every day as if it will be your last. Great words, no doubt. Not so easy to execute, especially in a time of lockdown. There are things you cannot resolve no matter how hard you try and 'seize' them.  The alternative approach is to put your energy into other things you enjoy, but every so often these start to seem like mere distractions and they pale, or lose their shine or attraction. True passions can always be rekindled, though when there are empty spaces, those interests cannot hold the attention all of the time. 

I also wonder about how I spend my week days. What I need to do versus what I choose to do. Are my choices a necessity or are they an escape from the vacuum that would be created? More time with me, exposing the gaping chasm that exists? I don't know, but I ought to confront it. Make what I'm doing a conscious choice rather than avoiding the decision.

Apologies, I seem to have lost the plot. The rails have gone. Many years ago a friend of mine once said, 'You think too much' - it has always stuck in my mind and I suspect she was/is right.

Carers are here now, so I'm back in the here and now. In 40 minutes it'll be time for yoga, so I'd better get the room set up, laptop fired up and ready to Zoom. It's a beautiful sunny day outside, so it's going to be a very warm yoga session - I'll need plenty of water standing by.

Blimey, it's almost time for the final carer call of the day! Where has the time gone? For starters I cut the grass and made another attack on the bamboo. For relaxation in between the boring chores I've read more of 'Three Women' and now I'm almost 80% of the way through it.  A torrid read indeed.

I've just finished a conversation with son #2 about Jimi Hendrix, prompted by him picking up a copy of 'Axis:Bold As Love' which is on my office floor. The conversation covered the fact there are only three official studio albums (plus 'Band of Gypsys') but countless posthumous releases of varying quality and also touched upon the subject of the cover of 'Electric Ladyland', UK versus US. He seemed happy to indulge the ramblings of his old man. 

Tonight is book club night, Sci-Fi sub-group, and we'll be discussing 'Futuristic Violence & Fancy Suits', with alcohol. I'll be having an early dinner so that the boys can have their dinner in peace and not have to worry about me.

Book club was an enjoyable diversion for the evening: lots of conversation about the book, cats, hyaena's genitalia (who knew?), and other random topics all lubricated with copious amounts of wine. I need to find time to write a review of 'FV & FS', though I may struggle to top one summary: '...like it was written by a 14 year-old boy for 14 year-old boys' - devastating, but accurate.

After book club, the evening drew to a rapid close owing to the need to get up for work tomorrow.  Good night! But one thing before I go...

Arctic Monkeys with '505' from 'Favourite Worst Nightmare'

[[Not sure I have one]]

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