Lockdown Diary - Sunday 26th July 2020

A lie-in for a change. I've felt so tired this past week, I thought I'd let my body determine when I got up rather than the alarm. Still up and getting showered by 8:30 a.m. but I felt better for it.

I've started doing press-ups and weight lifts (biceps curl) again and plan to re-start yoga tomorrow (the consultant said I could), though I plan to try sitting cross-legged for 5 to 10 minutes just to make sure it feels OK in the stitched area. I'll decide for certain tomorrow.

The weather has been somewhat unpredictable so far and I now have to do the washing I didn't do yesterday, though it's not looking like I'll be able to hang it out. The BBC website keeps saying the next hour has a high chance of rain but the one after not, then as the rainy hour passes it then revises its forecast and says the next hour is likely to rain.  I don't reckon it's ever going to say it'll be dry.

I read The Observer in between doing chores.  The rain keeps coming so I've decided to cut my losses and hang some of it up to dry indoors, the rest'll go in the tumble drier, according to the care label.

The boys and I had lunch together again, and as is becoming habit, watched another episode of 'South Park'. This sequence of episodes is all about the US Election, leading up to Trump's victory.

Minor cleaning, tidying and washing chores aside, I spent the afternoon and early evening reading and listening to music.

Reading-wise, the usual suspects: 'Ulysses'; 'Hawkwind: Days of the Underground'; Julia Copus' book of poems, 'Girlhood'; and one new one, the Nick Cave collection of memorabilia with some essays, 'Stranger Than Kindness', which is rather excellent.

My music listening began with Fiona Apple's new album, 'Fetch The Bolt Cutters'. It's just over 50 minutes long, though it took me over two hours to hear it from start to finish, as I was interrupted by two phone calls from my outlaws.  By some stroke of luck, each call began just as a track ended, so I didn't have to go backwards.  

At some point during my listening is sat in cross-legged, yoga 'easy pose' (as the yoga teacher laughably calls it - it may be easy for you, but...), for about ten minutes, without any unusual pains or twinges, especially from stitched area, so I figure I should be up for it tomorrow. Praise the Lord!

The first call was from my wife's father and step-mother, which consisted of the usual set of subjects, with slightly more focus on my health, predictably, I guess. They never really seem to want to delve into their daughter's health in detail and always seem to want to gloss it over, which irritates me a little.  I know she is my responsibility on a day-to-day basis, which I'm fine with - it's what I signed up for when I went through the whole 'in sickness and in health' bit all those years ago - but I always have this feeling they don't want to talk about it or get to know more.  They never seem to want to talk to her, though admittedly she can't say anything back, but maybe, just maybe, she'd like to hear her dad's voice, maybe it would be some comfort. I don't know. Next time they call I'll suggest it, see what happens.

A few tracks later and after the last carer visit of the day, her mum called.  These calls are almost the opposite of the one's from my father-in-law.  My mother-in-law wants to tell me about her week, do the polite thing and ask after my health and so I tell her a bit, probably more than she wants to know, ask about the boys, ask her how her daughter is doing, then chat to her on speaker phone for a bit.  When I say chat, this is a one-way conversation, but I think it registers with my wife on some level.  Partly my mother-in-law calls for the company, as I think she gets quite lonely at times, and so I listen and interject as appropriate, though we don't have an open conversation, because there's so much I can't talk to her about, and so I have to be in a particular persona and observe the conversation from the dark theatre of my skull. Most of all I try and listen until she's said all she wants to say, commenting where appropriate, being engaged, as sometimes I'm the only person she's spoken to for days (imagine what a disappointment that must be!)

After the call, I get to finish 'Fetch The Bolt Cutters' and then finish off listening to the Once & Future Band album I started quite a while ago.

Then it was time to get dinner started, which son #2 had under control, give or take some tidying assistance from me. Then the evening panned out as usual: the penultimate episode of series 1 of 'Umbrella Academy', more clearing up of dinner things, mostly done by son #1, then bed in the hope of sleep.

Before dinner started, son #1 asked if he could invite his girlfriend over to visit this week, and stay for dinner: I said 'yes', with a few provisos - she'll have to wear a mask if she sees his mum, and before it happens we need to know if she has any symptoms or has had Coronavirus.   

I've been waiting ages to get the Fiona Apple album, which was much delayed by coronavirus, and so today's tune will be from 'Fetch The Bolt Cutters'.  There are several songs that are especially powerful - the title track, 'Newspaper', 'Ladies' and three or four more, but I've chosen 'Heavy Balloon', whose lyrics I especially like.

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