Lockdown Diary - Thursday 30th July 2020

Blimey! The cleaner's keen, she's rung the bell before 7 a.m. - I didn't even notice the bell ring 'cos I was showering and didn't expect her before 10 past.  Glanced a at the camera and there she was. Guess it could be worse, could be the grim reaper that early. He'd get short shrift that's for sure - wouldn't even open the door.  For whom the bell tolls...  Never mind it's all kicking off now.  Not even dressed yet or finished my exercises, and the first carer of the day arrives! No peace for the wicked, goddamn it!

By the time I'd made my breakfast, the cleaner had done my office and the extension, so I retreated there to eat my porridge and drink my coffee  in peace, whilst she cleaned the kitchen.  It's good to have the cleaner back - the house looks so much tidier.

As it turns out this was the calm before the storm: when the cleaner went upstairs the boys and guest were moved downstairs, making the facilities upstairs off limits. From three toilets to just the one downstairs, which then gets taken over when the carers arrive.  My wife's infection means there's a double load of washing to do, so I get that started when someone arrives to collect some pots, promising a donation to charity in return. I go on a call with a mate in Berlin for 90 minutes or so. The cleaner finishes, says goodbye and leaves. Boys and girl migrate back upstairs, some to sleep a bit longer. 

After a momentary lull, the carers arrive for the lunch call. I'm not sure what I did in the lull, it seemed to just come and go.  It's getting on for 1 p.m. now and our GP is still due to visit at some point and I have to test out Microsoft Teams on our laptop on meet with Talking Therapies. It's been a morning and a bit.. Time to meditate for 20 minutes or so.

Not one of my most focused meditations - brain keeps surfacing things I should have done, could have done, missed out on doing...but a few periods of calm inside the storm.

Washing is now done. Hang it out with the help of son #2, before making a phone call to solve a problem for him and son #1. Next stop lunch. Just as the boys finish making lunch, our Doctor arrives, so mine is delayed.

Doctor pays a visit to my wife and is pleased with her recovery, then we retire to the living room to discuss heavy things: palliative care, DNR, circumstances under which we'd admit my wife to hospital, her medication, her future, then me, my sanity (a bird that's long since flown), general health and work. Much to ponder, but no escape from the pressure cooker. 'Get Out Of Jail Free' card please (what's that Jim Morrison biography called? 'No One Gets Out Alive', or something like that?)

Doctor was here for 45 minutes or so, overrunning my TT call - so much so that they called me and asked if I was joining, I explained, apologised and re-arranged for 20 minutes later.

Did TT call. It worked. Didn't show my email address, which was her only concern, whereas mine was would the laptop be capable of running it - it's a bit underspec'd on the RAM front.

Finally it felt like the day was back in my control. Ate my lunch - late, it's now 3 p.m. - whilst chatting to son #2 about what the doctor had said. Next stop, read a bit more of 'Machines Like Me', but outside in the front garden. Sneaked in the the first two pages of the 'Lestrygonians' chapter of 'Ulysses' too.

What seemed like an eternity ago I had suggested I was going to go for a walk and asked if anyone wanted to join me. As I had an 'Idler Drink with...' scheduled for 6 p.m. and wanted to be back before the final carer call, I ascended the stairhead and reminded son #1 (plus gf, who was keen to do walk) and son #2 of the need to do it sooner rather than later. Son #3 opted out but son #1 decided he must shower first, which is never a good sign...

Nevertheless at the 11th hour, with little time to spare, the four of us set off in the beautiful sun. I wanted to do around 20 minutes as a minimum (or rather, given the time, that was the most I could fit in), which we just about did, though son #1 and gf opted to walk further when son #2 and I returned home, getting there just after the carers arrived.

Got myself organised and hastily poured a glass of wine, ready for the Idler session with Mark Vernon, resident philosopher, and the return of many of the previous guests including John Lloyd (with a very sad, but instructive, bit of personal news), Murray Lachlang Young, Peter Fincham, Kamin Mohammadi and a few more.  This was the last of the season, whilst they take a break in August, with a plan to return at the start of September.  These talks have been one of the highlights of lockdown, making it that bit more tolerable.

Had a chat with the boys and the gf, to whom I explained that it's not always as mad as today has been here, though after saying it, I did wonder if that was true.

I was absolutely knackered when the evening set in, having been through the emotional wringer a bit, and once I took my happy pill (as if) it was inevitable that I'd struggle to stay awake in 'Good Omens', however good. I'm going to need to watch it again, or the latter section at least, tomorrow.

Off to bed to read and sleep, hoping not to lose the drift sleepwards in the process of getting ready for bed.

Veering off left again, this time for Admiral Sir Cloudesley Shovell (ludicrous name!) with 'Scratchin and Sniffin' from the album 'Don't Hear It... Fear It'

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