Nine Feet Underground

Unusually sons 1 and 2 are up before me, getting showered and bathed before they go. They are due to be picked up at 8:30 for their journey to the Lake District.   Sensibly they had already packed, which was just as well, given that one son, who shall remain numberless, only managed to be out of the shower a minute or two before 8:30.  Luckily for him their driver was running a bit late and had phoned ahead. At about twenty to nine their lift arrived and we said our goodbyes before they headed off to pick up another friend - there are 8 of them going in total - two cars of 4 people. It's going to be a quiet few days without them. I spent the day in the usual mix of chores and stuff, managing to find time to read 'The Observer', some of 'Ulysses' and, for the first time in a few weeks, another chapter from ' Hawkwind: Days of the Underground: Radical Escapism in the Age Of Paranoia' - once I've got to the end of reading the title, I'm too tired to rea...

Usual start to Saturday: shopping and washing. 'Nuff said! Tomorrow sons 1 and 2 are off to the Lake District with six of their mates to go walking and generally living the outdoor life. Good on them. They've done a pretty good job of getting organised on their own - son #2 even had a list!  Nevertheless I did help them out with a few things they'd not thought of or organised.   Things are also getting real as far as son #3 and university are concerned: we've completed our ranked list of chosen arrival times to move him into his flat, so hopefully we'll get the date we've asked for - otherwise I may need to put in an urgent leave request! Apart from moving in, we also need to work out what he needs in terms of cooking stuff, bedding, and most annoying of all, whether his laptop - which he hasn't used for ages - needs replacing. It's not been a great day for getting washing dry as the weather can't seem to make up it's mind.  The BBC says the weat...

I had a lie-in until about 7 a.m. as it's the last day of my leave, but I was up for the first carer call just after 7, then after she'd left I got on with showering, exercising, getting dressed and having breakfast. I have various things to organise, not least to make sure son #3 has actually thought about what he needs for university, which potentially he starts 3 weeks from today (I say potentially because things are not yet finalised, but it's looking like he'll be starting on our wedding anniversary) Apart from that I'm going to revise the next module of the Mulesoft training course, which I hope will take no longer than an hour. Cripes! The morning has gone and I have no idea how I've used it all up.  Sons 2 and 3 are making lunch - bacon and eggs today - and son #1 and his gf are up and about. We watched an episode of 'Peep Show' over lunch then split up to do whatever we had to do. Fully recharged by lunch, I'm going to tackle Mulesoft now.  ...

Despite this being another day of leave, I was up even earlier than yesterday. What's the reason for this insanity, you ask? Well, Thursday is cleaner day and she seems to arrive at around 10 to 7 of late and so I prefer to be up dressed and exercised before she gets here.  It also means I have more time to do the things I want to do, which, for today, means reading, continuing my Mulesoft revision (work), watching lesson 2 in the 'Idler Guide to Jazz' course and sorting some admin out. I've just finished a Signal call with my mate in Berlin. We chatted about what's happening in the US, the UK and Europe and also our local areas. He tells me he is building up a stock of wine and - especially - whisky, ready for when Brexit finally becomes a reality and the price of such spirits goes through the roof. His house has a really nice cellar, perfect for storing such things, though he was a bit coy about the exact number of bottles of whisky: he said a friend had been surp...

First day of annual leave this week, but still up at 6:25 a.m. in order to be ready for pranayama yoga session at 7.  I missed it last week owing to the training course I was on for work: I really notice the difference when I've not done it (and when I have!) After breakfast I got myself organised to visit the shopping precinct to post a letter and visit the bank: son #3 has a couple of cheques to pay in, so I invited him to join me, which he did. Whilst there I grabbed a flat white from Costa and a copy of the latest issue of 'Wire' magazine. Such is the excitement of life at the moment. Strange facts: son #2 informed me the sieve had broken when he was separating the dust from the last of the Rice Krispies he was having for breakfast. Initially I wondered how large a portion he was having, but, on looking at the handle and how it was fixed to the rim of the sieve, I wondered how it lasted so long. At least it hadn't broken when I'd been rinsing rice. I have ordere...

Today has been a working day, so I've not had much time to write anything or think about anything much other than work. Added to which I had to take my car in for a service - its first service - which has squeezed what little spare time I had available, at least until the evening. I've arranged a call my mate in Berlin for later in the week, via a quick email exchange, other than that I've been working on my two main tasks.  I have the rest of the week off before I start on a new assignment next week.   Once was work was over and all the admin completed, I grabbed some time to listen to music and tonight's fare was: Dennis Wilson; Red House Painters; and David Sylvian.  I really need about three solid days to listen to music (not that I could actually do that) as I have quite a backlog: 18 new / unheard albums (7 of which were released in 2020) alongside eight others from my collection that I have an urge to listen to.  (Damn! Figures are wrong, there are severa...

Monday started with group meditation practice at 7:30 a.m. via Microsoft Teams (makes a change from Zoom, at least outside work) courtesy of Talking Therapies/NHS. Excellent practice session book-ended with a poem by John O'Donohue, who was a new writer to me. Yoga at 10 on top of the earlier meditation practice gives me the best possible start to the week, and hopefully the best chance of digging myself out of the mire. Just have to wait and see. Mid-afternoon son #1 and his gf returned and thus, having the complement of sons in situ, we called my father-in-law to wish him a happy 90th birthday.  Each son spoke to him, as did I, as part of our plan to make the most of his day. Evening-time - dinner under way with son #2 taking charge, with usual outcome: we all sat down and watched the penultimate episode of 'The Umbrella Academy' together. Not up to saying much else. Dennis Wilson (of Beach Boys fame) recorded a solo album 'Pacific Ocean Blue' which was rele...

Sunday has followed the same pattern as Saturday, so I shan't be listing all the tedious jobs I've been doing / have done. Things are pretty much as they were yesterday, from my perspective.  Won't be repeating that either. I think aspects, or rather the consequences, of lockdown are getting to me.  The boys have all gone out - two walking in the South Downs and one at a friend's birthday barbecue. I've had calls from both sets of inlaws and also one from my 'big' sister.  I'm not feeling the urge to elaborate further. I did manage to read The Observer and also finish the 'Scylla and Charybdis' chapter of 'Ulysses' - 'Wandering Rocks' is next. Evening change of plans: son #1 is not returning from the walk tonight, instead he's stopping over at his gf's house, which is in the town their walk started from.  Son #2 will be later home than planned, which leaves me and son #3 to empty the dishwasher, make the dinner etc. Tom Wa...

Saturday comes around again and I have all the usual things to do, none of which are even remotely interesting, and therefore I shan't mention any of them. I seem to have dropped into a 'slough of despond', if I may steal a reference from John Bunyan's 'The Pilgrim's Progress'. I've been there for a few days now, though I think I've been skirting it for a few weeks, in reality.  It's exacerbated by the current coronavirus lockdown and some of the specific implications of that for our (as in this family specifically) circumstances.  The longer the lockdown, or at least my need to apply the rules of it, has gone on, the worse it has got.  There's been a few issues to deal with like my operation and the recovery process, as well as the more recent A-level shenanigans and implications for son #3's plans - these have occupied me and my mind one way or another.  The trouble is, once these things drop away, you are left with reality and the ines...

Today is the last day of the course and the only question is whether my brain will continue to absorb more information, or explode first. Watch this space! The training course is now over and  my head is still intact.  My next task is to go through the entire course slides from start to finish and also the manual - a mere 300 pages - then take the practice exam.  If that goes well, time to book the real exam and hopefully get certified.  Or more certified, perhaps? Another day without time for either reading or any serious immersion in music. [...the sun fell to the ground and rolled away / flowers beheaded themselves...] Early evening trip to the station with son #1 and gf, so she can get home in order to get up for work at 6 a.m. tomorrow. Back home for dinner whilst watching the end of the Rolling Stones Hyde Park gig in 1969 on Sky Arts - the one just after Brian Jones had died and notable for their evident lack of practice: most notably Keith Richards and Mick T...

Another early start for my 8 a.m. training course and also because I want to be ready before the cleaner gets here, so I can get her to do my office first. Well, that plan didn't quite work out - cleaner arrived at 10 to 7!!! Keen or what!! I'd almost finished getting ready, but not quite, so slight change of plan. Back on track again: I'm ready, breakfast is eaten and I'm logged in to the online course, ready to start. I think I'm going to be pretty much head down on this course again today, so I doubt I'll have much to say here. Course over for another day! This is such an intensive course - I'm sure it needs four days rather than three! One thing I have to get done are the cards for my father-in-law's 90th birthday - one from my wife (written by me) and one from me (also written by me!) I need to post them tomorrow to ensure they get to him on time. It's son #1's  girlfriend's last evening with us this week, so they've popped to the pu...

Up early in order to start course at 8 a.m., but sadly not enough time to fit yoga in too, so I missed that. First time I've missed it since my operation recovery period. Oh, well, I won't miss it next week! I'm not going to have much to say today, or for the next two days whilst I am on this training course.  Son #1's girlfriend has come to visit and stay for a few days, which adds to the general air of liveliness here.  Not that it's ever exactly quiet... Managed to find time to do meditation this evening, though I may try and do it during tomorrow's lunch break, if I'm organised. We've also discovered it's my father-in-law's 90th birthday on Monday, so we've been organising a surprise.   In the evening we all sat down to break bread together and discuss the stories of our days.  Pizza and 'The Umbrella Academy' it was then, aka Netflix minus the chill. Jim Noir has been making leftfield pop albums for quite a few years now - at lea...

Back to work again, though at the start of a slightly different week: from tomorrow to Friday I'm on training each day, with a view to taking an exam as soon as possible afterwards to gain a certification as a Mulesoft Architect. Today I have to get set up to do the training and also get a few other things organised, like moving a days leave and off-boarding from my previous account.  I'm also off to the dentist in the afternoon for a 2 p.m. appointment with the hygienist then the dentist for a check-up. All the fun of the fair! I probably won't have time to write much today - even less tomorrow - especially given the 8 a.m. course start time - I may not even have time for yoga tomorrow either. Working on a cunning plan to see if I can do both. Dentist visit was good, nothing needs doing and don't need to go back until February 2021.  One change (apart from all the masks etc): the hygienist can no longer use the ultrasonic clag remover or the polisher, since they are no...

Monday morning and up just after 6 a.m. - I've meditation at 7:30 and yoga at 10:00 and I need to eat breakfast before 7:30,  so no time to muck about: Showered, exercised and dressed by 7.  Felt really calm, present and generally really good after meditation  - set me up nicely for yoga at 10. In the meantime, a variety of small chores and tedious things to do ahead of yoga.   Yoga over, and another good start to the week - it's a shame it's raining, I feel like getting out and walking now.  I'm itching to re-start running but I'm pretty sure my knees aren't ready just yet.  I still haven't got my walking back to the level I was at before my enforced lockdown pre- and post-operation. Talking of which, I got a letter from the hospital about my next outpatient appointment, which is in November. Enclosed with that was a copy of the letter the consultant wrote to my GP about the additional meds I have to take, in the letter he describes me as '...this del...

Lie in until about 8, before slowly getting up, exercising and getting dressed to face another day in fun land.  More strange dreams and haunting accusatory nightmares.  Planning a quiet day: got some chores to do, also need to finish the papers from yesterday and today, read more of 'Ulysses' and 'Kindred' as well as listen to some music. Got a call early afternoon from my mother-in-law, who was a bit upset about her conversation with son #3 yesterday, in part because she feels that son #1 and 3 haven't properly thanked her for the presents she's sent them.  Son #3 thought he had thanked her, but her expectation compared to what he did/said don't quite tally. It's annoying because I've been reminding him for the past two weeks to call her as I knew this was the inevitable outcome.  There's a whole saga that I could go into here, but I've decided not to rake over old coals: it achieves nothing. I found an interesting post on FB where someone ...

Got up early to get out and do the weekly shop, with son #3.  Busy house around 7 a.m., as sons 1 and 2 are off out walking with some of their mates in the Chilterns (starting in Great Missenden) for the day. I fear they may get wet, but as it's preparation for a few days walking in the Lake District in early September, they may as well be prepared. Meanwhile son #3 and I were food shopping, a tedious chore which I've grown to dislike with a vengeance: the sooner it's over, the better. This week, apart from sharing the burden with son #3, which reduces to the tedium significantly, things were improved by the return of Bertie's Breadstall to the Saturday market.  Their bread is exceptionally good, the only problem is, we're spoilt for choice.  Son #3 was very happy as he managed to get a cinnamon swirl for Sunday's breakfast. Got home and began unpacking before the main morning carer call.  As one of our regular carers is on leave, she was replaced by one wh...

I'm probably going to struggle to write much today, mainly because of work but also because a chunk of the middle of the day got taken over by getting my wife's catheter changed after failing to flush it at lunchtime. It was well and truly blocked.  When the nurse arrived she gave it a go as well, but she couldn't get it to flush either and so had to change it, about a week earlier than it was due. The nurse changed the catheter, with no fuss, though it was a process that used to be quite traumatic for my wife, but which now she seems to barely notice.  I'm not sure if she can no longer vocalise the discomfort, if she can't feel it because the wound is no longer painful or if MS has just deadened the feeling. Who knows? There are so few ways into the locked in world she now seems to inhabit.  I have little or no idea about what goes on in her mind, what she feels, what she thinks about anything really. In some ways it's worse than the later stages of Alzheimer...

Up early today so son #3 and I can head off to his school for A-level results day. I don't have a good feeling about it, but I'm keeping it to myself. Cleaner arrived about 10 past 7 but I'm up, showered, exercised and dressed!  Downstairs for porridge and coffee before we walk to school for 8:30 a.m. En-route to school, short-cutting through the park, we encounter a friend walking her dog, stopped for a brief catch-up, but we need to get to school for our 8:30 a.m. slot, so have to get on and get there for the great reveal. After a few minutes of waiting, son #3 gets called up and picks up his envelope. On opening his face drops and I know he's not got what he was either expecting or needed.  Economics was the killer blow - he'd got an A* in his mocks and had been getting straight As or A* in all the tests leading up to lockdown - and this had been downgraded to a C, at least 2 grades lower. After a few further chats with teachers we spent a while on the UCAS websi...

Final day of working on the design document - by the end of today it will be finished, one way or the other.  Nevertheless I have got up early in order to do my weekly pranayama/breathing yoga session.  When I started, at 7 a.m. the air outside seemed rather cool and pleasant. By the time I'd finished and showered, it was already getting noticeably warmer. I don't think I'll have time to write much today as I'll be flat out completing the document for work. Phew! It's finally over.  I have completed the document and issued it back to my team (or ex. team, I guess).  Not the most fun thing to do in this heat, though nothing like as bad as physical work.  I really don't envy the carers their job in this heat, trying to wear their uniforms in such a way as they can keep cool.  Physically moving people is quite an effort in this heat. As the afternoon has headed towards evening, there's been a hint of distant thunder, but, so far, no real rain to speak of. The ...

Tuesday means back to work, and I have two very intense days in which to finish a piece of work for a client and then, in large part due to the economic impact of the Coronavirus pandemic, I will have finished at the client that I've worked at for the past 7 years. Before that, though, I've decided to go for a brief, brisk, walk before I get showered and before the first carer of the day arrives. Done! Managed to walk for about 15 minutes at a fair pace, and got back in just enough time to get showered.  I was almost dry when the first carer arrived and I went down and let her in. I would have walked further, but I struggled to get up early enough, owing to another lousy nights sleep. The lousy night's sleep at least being tempered with more pleasant dreams, though sadly interrupted by the alarm. Whilst the carer was here I chatted with her and set up my work laptop and associated paraphernalia, before doing press-ups and weight lifts, to set me up for breakfast - the usual...