Lockdown Diary - Friday 14th August 2020

I'm probably going to struggle to write much today, mainly because of work but also because a chunk of the middle of the day got taken over by getting my wife's catheter changed after failing to flush it at lunchtime. It was well and truly blocked.  When the nurse arrived she gave it a go as well, but she couldn't get it to flush either and so had to change it, about a week earlier than it was due.

The nurse changed the catheter, with no fuss, though it was a process that used to be quite traumatic for my wife, but which now she seems to barely notice.  I'm not sure if she can no longer vocalise the discomfort, if she can't feel it because the wound is no longer painful or if MS has just deadened the feeling. Who knows? There are so few ways into the locked in world she now seems to inhabit.  I have little or no idea about what goes on in her mind, what she feels, what she thinks about anything really. In some ways it's worse than the later stages of Alzheimer's that my mum endured until the end. At least she could express something of what was going on inside. 

After the process was over, the nurse suggested we try and see if flushing weekly for the first four weeks of a new catheter followed by twice a week for final two or three weeks might help avoid blockages. When I say 'we', if course, I mean 'I', since it's me who's going to have to try and keep track of this on top of everything else. I guess I can only do my best. Whatever that is.

Amidst all this chaos my younger sister phoned me for a chat about life and its wondrous stories. We haven't managed to meet up during her two weeks off. Must try harder.

Somehow all the time got used up and I didn't have time to listen to music though I did manage to read a couple of pages of 'Ulysses': awash in Shakespeare (mostly 'Hamlet'), Aristotle and Plato with the 'bullockbefriending bard'.

Son #3 and I made dinner before we watched another episode of 'The Umbrella Academy'.  I think the writing's gone off the boil a bit, though there are always pleasing moments, especially every moment Lila (Ritu Arya) is on screen.

I'm afraid I won't, Uncle Frank. Just switched from listening to Supertramp to this from Gnod - from the album 'Chapel Perilous'. This is the rather beautiful 'Uncle Frank Says Turn It Down'.  Surrender to it and discover the joy within. [I love the bit around 6 minutes in where the original riff kicks back in]


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