Lockdown Diary - Bank Holiday Monday (28th December 2020)

When I get up for the first carer visit of the day, a little after 7 a.m., I notice it's much colder than of late and, sneaking a peek outside, I can see there's a very sharp frost.  It's going to be a cold day, I think.

Things are gradually returning to normal, though the holiday mood persists.  I've now started thinking about what we'll do on New Year's Day. In the past my wife always used to cook a special dinner on the day and I'm thinking I'll try to do something similar.  Maybe some roast beef? I will consult with the team.

As has become customary during this holiday period, I am the only one up, though I imagine son #3 will emerge soon.  There are, as always, some things I must do, but those things aside, I am planning to have a day of relaxation.  I have a book to read for January's book club meeting, 'The Housekeeper and the Professor', by Yoko Ogawa, which I need to get in to.  I'm hoping that the period of not being able to focus or concentrate has passed, at least temporarily, even though I know the causes of that mood state remain.

Around lunchtime, which is after 2 p.m. today owing to that late rising of sons 1 and 2, I find I am half-way through the novel, which is quite short anyway, so I reckon, assuming I can maintain my present state of mind, I'll finish it tomorrow.  Over lunch sons 1 and 2 (son 3 is out walking with a friend) start watching 'Jurassic Park', which I don't think I've ever watched from start to finish.  I try and read whilst the film chunters on in the background, but it's too much of a distraction. Son #3 returns home and joins us once he's changed out of his wet and muddy clothes. Towards the end of the film, my younger sister phones and we have a chat for a bit, and by the time we've finished our catch-up, the film has ended and the boys have returned to their PCs for more games.

Whilst I may have recovered my reading mojo, I'm still struggling with music, which is a shame as I have a helluva lot still to listen to.  Maybe tomorrow. I think my current state of mind remains precarious: I wouldn't say I feel happy, but nor am I fully plunged into the depths of stygian melancholy, more like some sort of empty state, teetering between the two.  Things can only get better. Remind me to shoot the person who says that. Oh, dear, that was me. Oops!

The evening fell into the typical pattern that evenings here do.  

Something I have managed to listen to, mostly, is Julianna Barwick's recent album 'Healing is a Miracle', from which I have chosen this track, 'Oh, Memory', which features Mary Lattimore.

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