Lockdown Diary - Sunday 28th March 2021

Another day in a series of unending days of minimal variability.

Did stuff, none of it remotely worth mentioning, or even actually contributing one iota towards anything positive. Time used up. Wasted. Like water escaping from a leaky dam. Every drop slipping through my fingers, unable to stop it being lost.

Had a couple of calls during the day, the second of which was with my sister up north.  It is good to talk but sometimes it all seems empty, pointless and futile. Just a load of words spewed out contributing nothing meaningful. Lots of words which ultimately amount to 'we're both here and we care about each others continued existence'. I think that's it, in truth. [“I have never seen battles quite as terrifyingly beautiful as the ones I fight when my mind splinters and races, to swallow me into my own madness, again.”]

An anniversary: I started writing this lockdown diary one year ago today and have written an entry pretty much every day since, barring operations, time spent in hospital and recovery periods where I was not in a fit state to write.  Twelve months on I seem to be in a far worse place than when I began. Guess that must be true for a lot of people. [Fundamental warring dichotomy at the heart of my day-to-day existence]

Rainbow trout, Oven-baked; 'Narcos: Mexico'; Sleep.

Todd Rundgren / 'Sweeter Memories' / 'Something/Anything?'


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