Lockdown Diary - Thursday 4th March 2021

Up even earlier than yesterday, owing to expected arrival of the cleaner. As it turns out she arrives, in fact almost materialises, behind the carer as she comes towards the front door. Neither of us know where she came from!

The usual early morning banter with the carer follows, her services towards mental health in the community will not go unrewarded.

After the carer leaves I finish making my breakfast, eating my porridge before I go and post a couple of cards in the post box up the road.  This is an early morning opportunity for a bit of exercise, so I plan to return the long way around in order to hit my first 10 minutes of brisk walking target.

Back from the post box and time for coffee and work. Whilst I was eating breakfast and posting cards, the cleaner cleaned my office, so now I can get on with work - and it's only just gone 8 a.m. Crazy man!

Work dominates the day though I am hoping for a message from on high, which no doubt won't come.

Early evening I had a Zoom call with a friend, before returning to work and finishing off a couple of things before joining the Idler drinks call, or so I thought.

All day my wife has seemed a little off, a little more tired than normal and her eyes were becoming glassy and distant. We'd been keeping an eye on her but nothing was obviously wrong until around 5:30 p.m. when I noticed she had very red cheeks and felt very hot.  I took her temperature - it read 38.3C, way too hot, and when I checked her Oxygen sats they were at 90% with a heart rate of 107 b.p.m.  None of these obs were good and taken together I knew I had to call our GP.  After what seemed like a long conversation, the conclusion was to start her on powerful antibiotics (we have a standby stock ready for these sort of emergencies which happen all too often) and give her paracetamol to help drive her temperature down.  In addition, as a precaution, we should give her a Covid swab test (we had one standing by). Luckily the carers arrived during all this chaos and mild panic (don't panic!) and made up the antibiotic, gave her the additional meds and did the Covid test (which they do regularly for themselves, so I let them do it).  The GP said I should keep an eye on the Oxygen sats and if they dropped below 90% to call for an ambulance.

Emergency over for now, my heart rate and adrenaline levels started to return to normal.  When I say panic this is an exaggeration as in truth I've been through this so many times I know what to do. Nevertheless my heart rate definitely rises, probably BP too and my adrenaline is probably running high too. (It would be ironic if I had a heart attack whilst trying to deal with one of these episodes ☠) At the back of my mind I'm always aware that this is how things will end or at least how the end will start. I guess I remain on a high-level of alert all evening, checking her sats every so often, which thankfully remained at around 92 - 93%, so no need for an ambulance.  The antibiotics and paracetamol seem to be having the desired effect, fingers crossed.

I did eventually join the Idler drinks call with Ruby Wax as guest talking about Frazzled Cafe, mental health and mindfulness.  I missed a lot of it, which was a shame as it seemed both interesting and potentially helpful.  Even after I joined, my mind wasn't wholly present for obvious reasons.  I guess I should watch the recording.

After that son #3 and I started making dinner - bacon risotto - for another full house dinner and 'Mr. Robot' session.

The wheel turns again.

Going back almost five years for The Anchoress's album 'Confessions of a Romance Novelist' for this track, 'Doesn't Kill You', which seems to fit the times 'we' are living in.

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