Lockdown Diary - Tuesday 16th March 2021

Back to work.  Work continues to be busy which, within certain previously tested limits, is a useful way to keep my mind distracted.

Beyond that, not a lot.  There seem to be a lot of things to organise concerning my wife's care at the moment, which generates more work, mainly in the form of phone calls and emails in the first instance, at least.

The details of my stepmother-in-law's funeral are now through and, after a conversation with work, I am having the afternoon off as compassionate leave.  I hadn't asked for it, but my manager offered it, and on reflection I realised it was a good idea.  I am so use to having things to deal with, I don't stop to think about the impact they have on me, occasionally with less than good outcomes.

The day progresses as a working day usually does.

I start cooking the dinner, joined a bit later by son #2, and eventually we sit down (three out of four - son #3 is engaged in his 'Rocket League' tournament) and watch 'Reginald Perrin' in lieu of not much else. After that finishes son #1 and I watch, totally unplanned, Roman Kemp's documentary about male suicide.  The programme prompted son #1 to have a chat with me about my experiences.   I did say to him that there are some things I don't find it easy to talk to him (i.e. and his brothers) about and, in at least one area, only really have one person I can talk to (the oft-mentioned carer), who goes on leave at the end of this week, which I suddenly realise will leave a gap. 

Clearing up, then sleep, still the best part of my days.

John Moore / 'Clouds Roll By' / 'Lo-Fi Lullabies'


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