Lockdown Diary - Saturday 14th November 2020

Early morning is a rush. Need to get shopping done and breakfast eaten by around 9:30. Meditation session begins at 9:30 with 'hellos' and ground rules and order of the day, though I guess there'll be no fire alarm drill since we'll be at home.

Returned from shopping with son #2 just at around 9:15, so it looks as though we should get the shopping put away and breakfast eaten in good time. Son #2 is being especially helpful as my lower back pain seems to be getting worse, if anything.

I was one of the first of nine attendees online and was welcomed with a friendly greeting from one of the counsellors/mindfulness practitioners I've met quite a few times before, both as the presenter of the eight week course I attended back in 2018 and also for some one-to-one counselling/guidance.  He remarked on my colourful t-shirt which sparked a chat amongst those of us present and an introduction to the other meditation guide, who is the only one of the four mindfulness practitioners I've not met before. I've included an image of the front of the shirt below as a handy reference, thankfully without me in it.

It's a t-shirt from Acid Mothers Temple & The Melting Paraiso U.F.O. cancelled North American 'Space Resurrection' tour. The back has a list of all their dates with 'cancelled' written against every one.  Like many other bands who make their money from touring (pretty much the only way most bands/artists survive these days unless you are Head Shearedman or those of a similar ilk), which obviously hasn't worked well this year.  AMT have released a lot of new music online also quite a few new t-shirts, designed especially for covid: historically the only way to get AMT t-shirts was at their gigs, so they are especially prized.  This break with tradition has been to help the band survive without touring.

I had forgotten how much better longer meditations are than even the one hour I've been doing weekly on a Monday - I've really missed the face to face all day sessions that were run every two to three months, pre-covid, and today's three hour session at least starts to provide some of the benefits of a full days session.

In the wrap up at the end, where we discuss how it's gone for us, I did realise how important being in the moment is.  I don't spend a lot of time dwelling on the past, since it cannot be changed and I prefer to consider the future. My future is littered with problems though: at some point in the not that distant future a cataclysmic event will happen which will turn my life upside down and, even if I park that as the elephant in the room, then I can't continue as things are. Somehow I need to build a few future but so far this has just resulted in disappointment, disillusion and pain. In the event I didn't share this part of my thinking and confined myself to more immediate reflections on the practice.

After a few hours of peace and calm, a gradual return to the real world and washing, which is top of the agenda.  Having started the washing, son #2 and I got on with making lunch.  I'm still feeling fairly chilled and so son #2 and I eat lunch together and just chat (son #3 has yet to make the leap from bed to day time reality).

Washing continues apace and I decide to start reading the papers interspersed with the odd chore.  My enthusiasm for the chores is much diminished given my back is incredibly painful and no amount of paracetamol or ibuprofen seems to be making a dent into it.  If I lie on the floor and read on my back I can achieve some degree of comfort. If this carries on tomorrow, then I'm reckoning yoga will not be happening on Monday.

I should be reading this month's book club novel, however I am not making much progress - not because it's either a difficult read or uninteresting, more a reflection of my state of my mind.  I am struggling to concentrate on anything for very long and have decided rather than keep trying to fight it, I'm just going to go with it.  I'll read bits and pieces of other things and only return to the book when I feel I can focus. Worst-case, come December's meeting, I'll not have read it and will have to sit on the naughty step.

Film night tonight and son #1 has chosen 'The Gentleman', a Guy Ritchie film released earlier this year. Once dinner is made we'll start watching it.

Great film!  Really enjoyed it, though it is pure hokum, it was fun - several laugh out load moments (though maybe I have an odd sense of humour?) One of the highlights was Hugh Grant as the seedy private investigator Fletcher, I don't think I've ever seen him play such a low-life character and he was a revelation - he looks as though he's really enjoying himself. Charlie Hunnum was also excellent as Michael Pearson's (Matthew McConaughey) right-hand man Raymond Smith. The film has the usual plot twists and turns and sneaky reveals that Guy Ritchie is so fond of, but they just add to the fun.

The end. Almost.

Heard this courtesy of The Quietus.  Divide and Dissolve with 'We Are Really Worried About You'. Seems to hit the spot. 

[[]]