Lockdown Diary - Friday 9th April 2021

Unusually this is all being written in retrospect, primarily because I left the house at about 20 to 7 yesterday and didn't return until about 6 p.m. having spent the rest of the day at hospital.

I think I got up at about 5:15 a.m. as I had a bunch of things to organise before I could be out of action for the day.  Got showered, dressed in suitably loose clothing and packed my bag with the stuff the hospital said I'd need plus a few extras, just in case I didn't end up coming home the same day. Be prepared! Someone said that, once, and I was.

A friend from school kindly picked me up and drove to the hospital, getting me there in plenty of time.  It was nice to get a lift with someone I know as it made for a more relaxing conversation, rather than a taxi driver.

I went to my room and settled in. Not long after a nurse came to check (for the third time) who I was, when I was born, what I was having done etc. Then I was tagged and asked to change into my surgical gown (very fetching), dressing gown and slippers. I think the anaesthetist came to see me before the surgeon (I'm still a bit blurry about some things) and talked me through what she was going to do, asked a bunch of questions, explained how pain relief works and why a side-effect is constipation (after my experience last year I said if I was going to be given Codeine Phosphate, please could they prescribe some laxatives too), and she also explained that because they pump your abdomen full of gas, I would most likely be bloated and uncomfortable for a couple of days, but eventually the gas would make its way into my blood. Most importantly she seemed very friendly which was nice.

The surgeon popped in next for a chat, confirming what he was going to be doing and informing me I was third in line, probably likely to go to the anaesthetist at around 11:30 to 12:00. So much for being in for 7 a.m.!  The pain is I was told I couldn't drink water after 6 am, so I'm going to have to go for something like 5 or 6 hours without a drink.  On the plus side he gave me my first tattoo! I now have a black arrow pointing to my left groin, which is nice, though I guess if I was going to have a black arrow tattoo there I'd have chosen a more central, southerly direction.  Assuming I can settle - I am a very restless soul at the moment - I shall at least read a chunk of 'Hot Milk', this month's book club book.

Nurses came and took my blood pressure and oxygen sats at regular intervals but I was mostly left to my own devices.

I am like a caged tiger, but I do read, mostly standing up, pacing like an actor learning his lines. At around 11:30 the nurse arrived and said the time is now (she didn't use exactly those words, but it's a cue for a song in my head) and escorted me to the lift and we ascended to the anaesthetist's room prior to going into theatre.  Initially the nurses prepped me with wires and cables, then the anaesthetist appeared and inserted the cannula into my left hand.  She injected something which she said was pain relief and almost immediately I started feeling weird (as in more weird than normal), I think she then put a mask on my face, then something else was injected from a much larger syringe which she said might make my arm ache a little, after which I remember absolutely nothing until I started coming round in the recovery room.

The nurse in the recovery room said I'd been saying some stuff, so she knew I was coming round. I think she asked if I wanted a drink and I said yes, twice at least. Not long after that I was wheeled back to my room by someone. This was about twenty to half-past two, roughly.

Initially I was happy just to lie there, but I gradually realised I was more parched than the Atacama desert and needed more water. Unfortunately the twatting alarm thingy had fallen to the floor and eventually my thirst exceeded the pain I felt on reaching to the floor and I got it and buzzed. Someone came, though I don't think she was dressed in uniform, and I asked for a drink and some food and was offered coffee (black), a ham sandwich and a jug of water. Bliss, for a while.  To be honest I was just happy to lie there. I couldn't sleep, I never can in the daytime unless I'm absolutely exhausted.

I think my measurements were taken a few times and the nurse said once I'd stood safely and had a pee, they could start the discharge process. Like a performing seal (minus ball and fish) I gingerly got to the edge of the bed and stood. She asked me walk on the spot and clap my hands (untrue, but goes with the seal analogy) to show I could balance, which I could.  A little while later I peed, and so I buzzed to say I had achieved that objective.  It must have been about half four by now.  I asked how long it would take to process my discharge and she said, probably by 5 to ten past.  This was my cue to call another friend who'd kindly offered to take me home (cue another song). She said she could be there by ten past, so everything was coming together.  I must say I am really lucky to have the friends that I do, I am really blessed.  You know who you are and I am so grateful to have such good friends.

I got myself dressed as I waited for all the discharge stuff to be done. I realise I'm still under the influence of the anaesthetic as I'm a bit slow and unfocused. Armed with a load of paper work, instructions on what to do if things go awry (apparently for the first five days after abdominal keyhole surgery there's a risk of various unpleasant complications which I'm not going to list), and a bunch of drugs to take.

Whilst it was nice to have a room to myself in some ways, actually I felt the private hospital was much more impersonal. The nurses were very pleasant and helpful and I was looked after well. Both the surgeon and anaesthetist were from the local NHS hospital, so I guess they were as they would have been If I'd been there, which was very personable. In all honesty though, I'd have preferred to be on a ward in the local NHS hospital, the nursing care just seems more personal and attentive there.  I think because there are always nurses about attending to other patients, it's much easier to get their attention and they're far more likely to ask how you're doing in passing, whereas in my private room, I felt unless I buzzed, no one would come. So, a big thumbs up to the NHS and our local hospital.  Hopefully I'll not need to go for any more operations in the near future as I'm beginning to feel like the Six Billion Dollar Man, except I've been cobbled together on a restricted budget.

I was greeted outside by my friend and got into the back of her car, feeling rather delicate.  Delicate or not I was glad to be going home. Again it was good to have a friendly person to chat to as we wended our way across town and back to my house. We were greeted by son #2 and he took my bag upstairs while I took my coat and shoes off and then went upstairs to lie down.

Another local friend messaged me in the evening asking if there was anything she could do to help.  We had a good chat on Messenger, which was fun.  I know I've already said this, but I am really lucky to have the friends that I do.

The evening was mostly spent lying down listening to music, until dinner time when I came downstairs and joined the boys to eat and watch another episode of 'Narcos: Mexico'.  Next stop more pain killers, laxatives and sleep.

The Upsetters / 'Croaking Lizard' / 'Super Ape' (Given my throat is a bit scratchy after having a tube down it during the operation, this seems to be an appropriate tune and also it's from one of my all-time favourite albums)

[[Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors, I still feel a bit dopey from the anaesthetic]]

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