Lockdown Diary - Saturday 24th April 2021

Another Saturday without going shopping.  Apart from the human contact, I can't say I miss food shopping, though in a strange way I'll be glad to get back to it next weekend. My brain is a bit like Schrodinger's cat in that it can hold two diametrically opposed views on something at the same time. I like it that way.  Today's delivery arrives just after 9 a.m. and I have to rouse son #2 from bed to help bring the heavier items in: I'm signed off work until next Friday and, for various reasons I'll not bore you with, I'm still being cautious as I really don't want to end up having another operation, despite the escape of the general anaesthetic (though oddly today is the first day I've felt completely clear-headed, which is weird because allegedly it should be gone from your system in 48/72 hours?)

One bit of good news to start the day: my weight has dropped further and my BMI is finally back below 25 again.  Guess I could do with losing 5 to 8 pounds more to give me a bit of wriggle room. Ho ho.

If I could sum today up in one word it would be washing: three loads today and probably two more tomorrow.  Consequently I'll probably not have much to say here.

Son #3 is off early to spend the day outdoors with his gf, the other two are in bed and I doubt I'll see either of them until after midday.

The weather remains good, the sun is out and it is a perfect day for doing the tedious chore that shall not be named again.  Today I really do plan to go for a brief walk, both because I want to get out but also because walking is meant to aid recovery and I'm feeling up for it.  Hopefully I'll not go alone, which means I will probably end up walking late afternoon or early evening.

Mid-morning a friend dropped off more medication for my wife, which was really nice of her.

Mid-afternoon my mother-in-law phones for a chat.  Largely the usual topics of conversation with the odd surprise.  I tell her about her daughter's condition an the fact that she's on antibiotics for an extended period.  I mention that the community matron is referring her to the palliative car doctor again, but don't really go beyond that and let her draw her own conclusions. It's impossible to know how things will progress and this could be a minor blip or it could be start of something more final. How the hell are you supposed to know? I've lived for so long in limbo that it all starts to get too much and, as minds are wont to do, I start inventing a future narrative which is pointless, since no one can know what will happen when; how exactly it will be; what impact it will have on the boys, or indeed on me. Though I sort of know what impact it will have on me, because every time the danger level ramps up, I feel it.

In between times I read today's papers and further tweaked the playlists I'm working on, as mentioned in yesterday's post.

A quick call to my elder sister to wish her 'happy birthday' only to discover the card I sent on Thursday, first class, still hasn't arrived.  We had a bit of a chat and I updated her on what's going down here.

Early in the evening son #2 was showered, dressed and ready to go for a walk.  We went for a brief walk around the block, not as far as we'd normally walk, but really a test for me to see how I felt afterwards. En-route we met friends walking their dogs (twice!) and son #2 was able to take some photos on his new camera, experimenting with settings etc.

I feel OK after the walk and decide I should walk further tomorrow, choosing a route that we can cut short at various points, just in case.

Film night and my choice: for a change I choose something mainstream, namely 'Enemy of the State', which stars Will Smith and Gene Hackman amongst others. It was OK but afterwards I'm left feeling I wished I'd chosen something a bit more 'out there'.

I think I've drunk slightly more wine than I had intended. Never mind. It will hasten the exit into sleep.

The The / 'Soul Mining' / 'Soul Mining'


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