Lockdown Diary - Friday 30th April 2021

Another month bites the dust.  I guess it's probably because of my operation and recovery, but I don't feel like I had an April this year.  Best part of a month mostly confined to barracks.

FB does its usual trick of reminding me of happier times whilst at the same time inducing the opposite emotion.  Happy times will always be happy times, that cannot be taken away, but they can be a stark reminder of how much things have changed, for the worse.

It strikes me that it's possible that lockdown may soon be over and when it is, I can't really continue calling this a lockdown diary, because it won't be. You might argue that lockdown has been lifted already for brief periods over the past year, but for me it hasn't really, and so the name continues. I want to keep on writing a diary in a similar format, as it has enabled me to find an excuse to write regularly, not just about gigs I've been to (gigs?) or music that has hit the spot, as most of the pre-lockdown posts did. I can still do that, often in the context of this diary anyway.  I'll have to rename the diary though, but to what? Originally I had intended this to be really honest, but in practice I've had to obscure some things to protect myself and other people. I've also not used people's names, unless they are public figures, and, in a way, that lets me write some things I couldn't otherwise do. Nevertheless, some things have remained well and truly obscured, referenced very obliquely, if at all.

At one point I was planning to write a separate anonymous blog about being the carer of a late-stage secondary progressive Multiple Sclerosis sufferer in the hope that maybe there is something I have learned that could help someone else, but I think that's a fanciful notion and is to presume too much. Probably a vast ego trip as well.

Possible titles for the post-lockdown blog: 'Diary of a Miserable Bleeder'; 'Live and Dangerous-ish'; 'Diary of an (Aspiring) Madman'; 'In the Shadow of MS Mountain'; 'Notes from the Torn Asunder Ground'; 'The Fall and Rise of no one in Particular'; 'Who Ate My Lettuce?'; 'The Unquiet Grave'; 'This Will End In Tears'; 'The Art of Looking Sideways'; or something else entirely. [Capitalisation rules suspended for artistic reasons]

I really do hate it when people say they are going to do something or talk some great talk about doing something then fail to deliver or at least provide a reason for not being able to deliver.  It seems to have become a commonplace that rather than have the difficult conversation or at least come up with some kind of excuse, which is polite if possibly not entirely truthful, the standard approach now seems to be silence, going completely off the radar. [In this context the word 'deliver' is used in its most general sense] I guess this is me not being in-sync with the times.

Did all the usual stuff not worth relating.

Ate my lunch whilst watching the end of a music documentary about Eel Pie Island.

I went out for a 30-minute brisk walk on my own, trying to get myself back to full fitness.  My left knee is still playing up, but hopefully continual walking exercise will overcome that.

Made dinner with son #3 - bacon and pea risotto - then watched episode 3 of 'Line of Duty', before retiring for sleep.

Bo Ningen / '4 Seconds To Ascension' / 'Bo Ningen: Rebuilt'  (Forthcoming)

['Bo Ningen: Rebuilt' is a reworking of their first, self-titled album, with various guests invited in to remix the songs. It remains to be seen whether this will be a success as far as I'm concerned, but I do like this]

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