Lockdown Diary - Tuesday 18th May 2021

Tuesday means work and I am up early for the first carer, followed by a walk before rain sets in again for the day.

Strange dreams last night: somehow, in a way I can't fully recall, I was trying to help prevent families being sent to concentration camps. Where that comes from, I have no idea. Darkness pervades everything, it seems.

Providing a home for the dog again, dark skies outside and in.

Work will keep my mind occupied for most of the day, though that is no solution to anything.

Work...interspersed with knee exercises.  

This week's poem is 'Remember' by Christina Rossetti, which seems to have some resonance.

Remember me when I am gone away,
   Gone far away into the silent land;
   When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
   You tell me of our future that you planned:
   Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
   And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
   For if the darkness and corruption leave
   A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
   Than that you should remember and be sad. 

More work...

At about 5:45 p.m. I stopped working and headed to the museum for a meet up with a school friend to go for a walk.  It was a good walk, unexpectedly without rain, and an opportunity to be challenged about what I'm doing and come to some decisions.  Sometimes talking something over with someone uninvolved can throw a different perspective on things and make you see things differently. One decision I was helped to make is to book a break away on my own, one at the earliest opportunity, and another, maybe alone  again or perhaps with some or all of the boys later in the year.

Returned home to an almost ready dinner, cooked by son #3, before we all sat down and watched another episode of 'Top Boy: Summerhouse'.

Bed is calling to the faraway towns... 
  
Sarah Nixey / 'Coming Up For Air' / 'Night Walks'



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