Tales From The Crypt - Thursday 9th September 2021

For the first Thursday in quite a few weeks there's a 'proper' Idler drinks tonight, with the guest being acclaimed author and Cambridge Don (he's an official fellow (aren't I?), Director of Studies in English & University Reader in Literature and the Environmental Humanities), perhaps best known for his books 'The Old Ways' and 'Underland', which should be interesting.

Aside from that, however, work will dominate the day, give or take the usual interruptions that support my wife's ongoing care.

In between these things I manage to find time to go for two walks, hitting my target, but not managing to squeeze three walks in.

At 6pm I joined the Idler Zoom call: it was great to be back amongst friends (though strictly a breakaway group of us - 'Idler Rogues' - has been meeting over Zoom for the past few weeks whilst the 'drinks' has taken a sabbatical) and to see Tom, Victoria and Mark again. Mark Vernon's philosophical musings into Robert Macfarlane's chat with Tom was, as usual, thought-provoking.

I have to confess that though I have a book by Robert Macfarlane ('The Old Ways'), I've not found time to read it (yet), even though everything I've read about him and his books is fascinating.  Hearing him talk this evening has made me even more determined to read 'The Old Ways', for starters.  I think I am reasonably good at conversation and speaking 'off the cuff', however Robert's eloquence and ease of finding the mot juste was a joy to hear - he talks like a ballet dancer on a tightrope, with pauses appropriate to the gravity of what he's been asked, without a safety net. Entrancing.

After the usual Tom and Victoria kerfuffle in playing the outro song chosen by Robert Macfarlane, we moved to a period of open mic chat, but not before a visibly shaken woman called Suzanne, spoke of her grief at losing her sister suddenly, and asking Robert of his thoughts on the environmental pros and cons of cremation versus burial, and the way to deal with such a loss.  Most impressively, Robert had words of comfort and took the tide of emotion in his stride, nevertheless speaking with appropriate empathy and honesty. For various reasons far too close to home, I know I couldn't have handled the conversation, at all.

As the numbers present rapidly dwindled, the chat continued, and friends asked me about the flying lessons. Me being me, I told them the full detail, and when asked about why I'd need to see a consultant psychiatrist, I had to explain, at least a little of it. I think they were a little taken aback by my openness, and expressed regret at asking, but I said no, that was alright.  If I'm ever to get myself back to a place where I can deal with my feelings (which still have a habit of overwhelming me far too often, hence, in part, the counselling), then I need to be able to talk about them in a matter of fact manner.  I also said that I feel that openness about mental health issues is part of the battle of both dealing with them personally as well as mental health being treated in the same way as physical health.  Part of this is bravado because these things still disturb my equilibrium, however, on the call I handled it pretty well and without tides of emotion. Admittedly the can of worms was only partially opened, but hey, you've gotta start somewhere. Luckily this didn't totally monopolise the conversation and we moved on, leaving what was said just as facts, nothing more or less. I made light of it, as I always do.

Dinner next, made by son #3, and we all - me, sons 1-3, plus son #1's gf - sat down and watched another episode of 'Mrs. Maisel'.  As that finished I switched channels to watch the Hyundai/Mercury music prize proceedings, which opened with Wolf Alice.  Unusually I have four of the albums from the list of nominees, and have enjoyed music by several of the others. In terms of lyrical content and how those words have resonated with me, I know which album I'd like to win (Arlo Parks' 'Collapsed In Sunbeams', which I keep on returning to), but any of the four would be good. Part of me doesn't like it when an album I love wins a prize and becomes popular, but I guess it's great for the artist and their career, provided it doesn't affect the honesty and grit of their writing and music.

As I have to get up early tomorrow (the cleaner is coming on Friday this week) I reluctantly leave son #1 and his gf as Black Country, New Roads take to the stage, but as I get ready for bed I leave BBC6 Music on, as they are covering the results, live.

Fuck me! She's only gone and won it! 'Collapsed In Sunbeams' is such a good album, with so many good songs. Bloody brilliant! 

Telefís / 'We Need' / 'We Need (Single)'

[[Contrarian to the last, I couldn't possibly choose an Arlo Parks track, besides I've chosen tracks from her album twice before, I think, so maybe another day. Instead a gritty new number from Telefis - collaboration between Cathal Coughlan (a minor hero) and producer Jacknife Lee]]

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